No Good Deed - Marie Sexton Page 0,13
never learned to travel light.”
“Apparently not.”
“It’s Colorado! It could be seventy degrees today and below zero tomorrow. How’s anybody supposed to plan for that with only one suitcase?”
Charlie laughed. “Looks like you’re ready for anything.”
Jonas gestured down the hallway, which could take them either to the kitchen or the bedroom. “I made dinner. Unless you’d like to test that ‘ready for anything’ theory first?”
Charlie’s smile faded a bit. “You’re a tease.”
“A tease wouldn’t follow through. I will.”
Charlie stared at him for a moment, as if weighing the possibilities. He sighed. “Let’s start with dinner.”
Jonas wondered if his disappointment showed. “Wouldn’t have been my choice, but it’s your party.” He led Charlie into the kitchen. “It’s tacos, which seems like a dumb thing to make for somebody who gets home-cooked, authentic Mexican food from his neighbors on a regular basis, but I’m not exactly Martha Stewart in the kitchen.”
“Sounds great, actually.”
They ate in silence for a while, but Jonas felt Charlie watching him. Assessing him.
“You know,” Jonas said at last, “all this scowling you’ve been doing since you got home, you could give Warren a run for his money.”
Charlie chuckled. “Sorry. Didn’t realize I was being so obvious.”
Jonas reached across the table to touch Charlie’s hand. “If you have something to say, just say it.”
Charlie pulled away from his touch and wiped his beard with his napkin. “Fine.” He threw it down on the table and pushed his plate away. “I haven’t heard from you for six fucking years, and now you show up, asking for help.” He held up one big, beefy hand to stop Jonas from protesting. “It’s fine. I’m happy to do it. But you act like you’ve never been gone. Like I’m supposed to pretend it’s normal to not hear a peep out of you for six straight years and then fall into bed together.” He shrugged. “I don’t appreciate being blown off as if nothing ever happened between us.”
Jonas gulped. He’d known Charlie might be angry, but this was the first he’d seen of it. “Tell me what you want. Do you want me to apologize again? Because I will. As many times as you want.”
“I don’t want an apology. I want an explanation.”
“For why I left, you mean?”
“No.” Charlie deflated a bit. “I understood that. I didn’t like it, but I understood.”
“Then, what?”
Charlie sighed. “It’s been six years.”
Jonas considered the implication of those words. The first thing he’d done upon arrival was ask Charlie all about what he’d missed in the time he’d been gone. And yet, for some stupid reason, it hadn’t occurred to him that Charlie felt he’d missed out as well. Maybe because Charlie had still been here, in his home, with his friends. But six years of silence was a lot to forgive.
It wasn’t that Jonas meant to keep it a secret. It was only that those years had held so much grief.
He pushed his own plate aside and began. “That first year…” It still made his eyes tear up when he thought about it. “I was miserable, Charlie. Missing you was the only thing I could think about, every morning and every night. It was like fighting the same battle every single day. I wrote you a hundred letters and a hundred emails—”
“I never got them.”
“I know. That’s because I never let myself send them.” He nudged his glasses up to wipe tears from his eyes. It was hard to describe the horrible, dark regret that had filled every hour of his days. “It seemed better if I made a clean break, but God, I hated it. I started drinking too much. I spent hours just wallowing in my depression. I don’t know. I hit rock bottom, I guess. Totally cliché until you’re actually there.” He’d felt like he had no reason to keep on living. It was the one and only time in his life when he’d halfway considered finding a way to end things completely.
“Then what?” Charlie asked, his voice gentle.
“Then…” Jonas shrugged. “I don’t know. Time passed. I saw a therapist for a bit. I got my shit together. Quit drinking so much. Went back to school.” He bit his lip, hesitating. “Started dating.” If that admission bothered Charlie, it didn’t show. “It’s funny. I wasn’t miserable anymore, but at the time, I didn’t think I was happy either. I kept telling myself I’d meet somebody eventually. I’d fall in love again, and I’d quit missing you so much.”
That flash of anger was gone from Charlie’s eyes.