To think that an astronaut would do something like that! But I did.
While testing out the urine containment feature of my space suit may sound insignificant, it was actually quite a tribute to the great progress made in space technology. In earlier years, during the Mercury program, for example, when an astronaut had to “go to the bathroom,” he sometimes found himself lying in a pool of his own urine.
Of course, this is one of the questions that every elementary school–aged boy wants to know: “How did you guys go to the bathroom while you were in space for all those days?”
By the time Jim Lovell and I flew on Gemini 12, NASA had become skilled in the art of waste disposal. We each used a “blue bag,” with a sticky substance on it that stuck to our posteriors to collect excrement. We excreted our urine into catheters that looked something like condoms. If possible, we disposed of waste products during our extravehicular activities, which is what I did during my space walk on Gemini 12. Before rejoining Jim inside, I opened the hatch and grabbed three bags of waste products and sort of pitched them over my shoulder, straight up.
That was a mistake!
Being as familiar with orbital mechanics as I am, I should have realized what I had just done—basically launching those three bags on a free return trajectory that would eventually come straight back at us! An orbit or so later, Jim and I looked out our window, and sure enough, there they were—three bags full—and heading straight for us!
Talk about unidentified objects in space! I don’t think NASA ever acknowledged that one.
WHETHER NUMBER ONE, OR NUMBER TWO, or a number far down the pecking order, regardless of your position, never turn in less than your best work. Refuse to fail from lack of effort, whether physical conditioning or mental work—and don’t fool yourself, thinking is hard work!
All work is noble, if it is legal and ethical, so do your best, whether you are first, second, or last. Never lose an opportunity, a job, an election, a competition, or anything else because you were too lazy to give it your best effort. Certainly, you need rest and recreation, but keep those in balance with hard work. Remember, while you are partying, someone else is working hard to succeed. It’s okay to be second, as long as you do the absolute best you can do.
Recently, I received a special award figurine from the producers of The Simpsons. For my cameo “appearance” on the “second comes right after first” episode (“Deep Space Homer”), I was voted as one of the top 25 guest stars in the entire history of the show. So I guess being second is not so bad!
• CHAPTER FIVE •
WRITE YOUR OWN EPITAPH.
Some people have their epitaphs written about them after they die and some people do their epitaphs while they are living. By that I mean, they do something that matters; they refuse to take “no” for an answer and choose to focus on the opportunities in life rather than the obstacles. They pursue their passion rather than simply perform a function or do a job.
My passion has always been aviation. I grew up in an aviation family, and my father was an aviation pioneer. He learned to fly in 1919, and his first assignment was as an aide to General Billy Mitchell in the Philippines. Dad also knew the Wright brothers, and he even hitched a ride on the Hindenburg prior to its tragic accident. He met Marion Moon, the daughter of the Army Air Corps chaplain, and they soon fell in love and married. Following his stint in the Philippines, my father came home and attended the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where he wrote his doctoral thesis on the subject of spinning airplanes. He loved to fly and spent 38 years of his life in the Army Air Corps. Shortly before I was born, he took a job as aviation fuel manager for Standard Oil Company in New Jersey.
My father was a friend of Jimmy Doolittle, another MIT graduate and an outstanding aviator and gunnery instructor in World War I. Between the two World Wars, Doolittle’s fame grew even more when he continued performing aviation feats, and my father was a judge at many of those contests. During World War II, Doolittle led the first carrier-based bomber attack on mainland Japan on April 18, 1942, striking Tokyo and other strategic cities after taking off