up from her seat and motioned him out of the kitchen and to the right. Oh, crud, had she straightened up the bathroom? “The door on the right.”
She busied herself searching the pantry for anything she could offer for dessert besides a half-eaten bag of Oreos. As she heard the water running, she poured them both a glass of iced tea and then paced the kitchen. Why was he really here? Maybe he was marrying that lobbyist and wanted to let Alex know personally. But she’d made it clear when she left D.C. that she was breaking up with him. Maybe—
She spun on her heel as he appeared in the kitchen. “Want some tea?” She held out the glass to him.
“No, thanks.” He shoved his hands in his slacks pockets and gazed out the window above her sink to the backyard. “Is that a pool?”
“Yes!” She seized on the topic for conversation. “It’s small but it comes in handy in this desert heat.”
He was still gazing out the window. “It’s nice out today. Not too hot, not too cold.”
No way he came here just to talk about the weather. “Would you like to sit outside?”
“Yes.” His smile looked relieved as he swung his gaze back to her.
She stepped around the table, opened the back door and led him out to the patio.
“It’s beautiful out here,” Neil said from behind her. “You’ve done a great job on the landscaping.”
“Well, I had help.” Sipping her tea, she surveyed the flowerbeds and remembered the day Mitch had helped her plant them all. What a great time they’d had that day.
“Alexandria.” He caught her gaze. “I didn’t come here just to catch up on old times.”
Oh, no. She wanted to run back in the house, but she made herself stay put. “You didn’t?”
He shook his head. “No.”
She opened her mouth, but he stopped her. “Look. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. The truth is, I still have feelings for you, and I came here to see if there was any way, before I shipped out, that you’d want to give us another try.”
As much as she should’ve seen this coming, she was still stunned into silence. To camouflage her surprise, she turned and set her tea down on the table, then forced herself to face him. “Did you know I snore so loud it rivals an F-16 buzzing the house?”
Neil frowned. “You never snored when we were together.”
“That’s because I never let myself fall asleep after…” She waved a hand. “You know.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, and I never let you see my apartment unless I’d cleaned it first. I’m a horrible slob.”
He shrugged. “Well, nobody’s perfect.”
“And did you know I’ve assaulted two fellow officers in the past month? I have a wicked temper. When I get really mad, I don’t care about the consequences.”
Neil frowned. “You’re deliberately trying to scare me off. Why?”
“Not scare you off. Just show you the real me. I made the mistake of not doing that with you, Neil. You’re such a great guy. And I wanted things to work out between us so badly. I…needed to be in a normal relationship.” She stuck her hands in her back pockets and studied her unpainted toenails. “I thought I was being honest with you when we met. Telling you I’d requested the transfer to get away from a guy who didn’t return my love. I thought with sheer will I could make myself love someone else and be happy.”
Looking back up, she stared into his serious, dark brown eyes. “I didn’t realize I was only fooling myself. You’ve heard the saying, ‘The heart wants what the heart wants’?” She gave a one-shouldered shrug.
“So.” He stepped close, brought his hand up and ran a thumb over her cheek. “Did things work out with this guy? Are you happy now?”
She made herself smile and covered his hand with hers. “After everything I told you, you’re worried about me?”
He returned her smile. “I love you, Alexandria. I want you to be happy.”
“Oh, Neil.” She slid her arms around his waist and hugged him, her cheek flattened against his chest. “Why couldn’t I have loved you?” she mumbled to herself.
Neil squeezed her to him a moment then pulled away and held her shoulders. “So, the idiot came to his senses?”
She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I don’t know.”
He crooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face to him. “If he doesn’t, and you change your mind…” He slowly bent down and touched his