be right. You can.
But that’s not what I want.
I don’t want just anyone. I want the right someone.
I need someone who will understand Gary, in all his Garyness. He’s a New York cat, and I don’t think a pet psychic in Chicago or Los Angeles would understand or appreciate his very specific New York personality.
At least I think he’s got a New York personality. To be fair, I’ve never owned a cat who grew up anywhere else, so it’s hard to say. Anyway, the point is, I’ve narrowed my search to pet psychics based in New York.
The research was worth it because I’ve decided this is clearly the way to solve all of my problems. With Gary. Unless the pet psychic also has advice about the governor. I’m not in a position to ignore any words of wisdom, you know? Because I haven’t found a single way to encourage Warren to kiss me again. Or a way to kiss him. I’d be willing to give that another try if given the opportunity.
But opportunities have been sorely lacking.
Also, he seems to have lost all interest in my plumbing.
But whatever. The longer it takes him to fix my bathroom, the longer I get to stay at the mansion and finagle ways to kiss him again.
And, of course, the more time and energy I have to devote to Gary’s mental health.
I narrowed it down to a woman named Beatrice, which seems like a good name for a pet psychic. Like, if I was a dog, I wouldn’t mind a lady named Beatrice poking around in my mind.
Beatrice tells me that, in order to connect to Gary’s energy, she needs pictures of him. These, she insists, should be “candids” of him in “various stages of personality,” which I take as a challenge. I have plenty of pictures of Gary, but I don’t know if they show “various stages of personality.” It gives me the excuse to stage several photoshoots of Gary throughout the governor’s mansion, which causes a few side-eyes from the staff. And a direct eye roll from the governor himself.
He paused yesterday in the entry of the formal reception room in the mansion where I was draping a very old cloak that I found in a very old closet around Gary. I also added a small crown, a plastic one that I dug out of a different closet. Warren took one look at Gary and then at me, and then he sighed.
“This doesn’t concern you!” I interjected before he could utter a single word.
“I feel like dressing up your cat is cause for concern.”
“For who?”
“Well, Gary for starters.”
“It’s not. He’s fine. Besides, this is the very least he can do for me.” I snapped a picture and gave Gary a treat from my pocket. He gobbled it up and tapped his paw on my hand, requesting another.
“Are you… are you attempting to train the cat to do something specific?”
“Of course not, I’m just capturing various candid shots of him.”
Warren tilted his head to the side, in an gesture I’d already come to recognize as his tell for questioning my sanity. “How is a cat wearing a cape and crown candid?”
“It really captures his inner self, don’t you think?”
Warren started to reply then opted for simply shaking his head and walking away.
How he couldn’t see that we were perfect for each other, I don’t know.
Anyway.
I send the pictures of Gary, along with a few that were taken at my place. I figure the psychic might be able to detect a change. I can’t, but then again, I’m not a professional.
Finally, it’s time for our Zoom call. Beatrice materializes on my laptop screen, her long, pale blonde hair and wide blue eyes standing out against a serene grey wall filled with… succulents. I kinda expected crystals or something, but I guess succulents are pretty legit too.
“Hey,” I say, and Beatrice smiles.
“Hello, sweets.”
It’s hard to tell if Beatrice is forty or seventy. I have a feeling she’s also got that Zoom feature turned on that smooths out your wrinkles, but besides that she just seems both young and wise at the same time.
“I’m really excited to talk to you about Gary,” I say, jumping right in. “I feel like—”
Beatrice holds up a hand. “Let’s not cast our own ideas about Gary, dear,” she says. “Let’s let his energy speak for himself. Now, remember, energy is energy, whether it’s over the phone or Zoom or in person. So give me a moment to find that energy.