it a point to go visit her in Lancaster. I wouldn’t go running off to kiss another girl, whose name and face I couldn’t remember now.
I wondered how my life might’ve been different, if I’d been different back then. Would Zelda and I have formed a real relationship? Would we both be here at Birch now? Would I be in this fucking chair? What if changing one thing changed everything, and for some reason, I took that hit differently than I had?
“Hellooooo? Eli?” Standing before me, framed by the open door, Zelda gazed down at me, quizzical amusement on her face. “Are you having some kind of seizure? You’re staring off into space. And you didn’t even flinch when I opened the door.”
For a moment, I remained mute, just looking at Zelda. She wore a pair of faded jeans that clung to her long legs, ending just above her bare feet. A ragged, paper-thin and faded long-sleeved tee accented her awesome boobs. Her silky blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and her face was devoid of makeup. The smudge of purple shadows under her enormous blue eyes told me that she’d been missing sleep studying, too.
But it didn’t matter, because makeup or no makeup, sleep or lack thereof . . . Zelda Porter was so achingly beautiful that nothing could take away from that. This was something I tried not to think about too much, because acknowledging it caused too many uncomfortable reactions in my body. It made me yearn for things that I knew weren’t going to happen.
Fuck it all, I was turning into Nate, silently mooning over a woman who was never going to want me.
“Eli?” Zelda snapped her fingers, jolting my attention back to her. “You’re freaking me out here, dude. What’s going on?”
“Sorry.” I bumped over the threshold of her room, avoiding her bare feet. Jesus God, even her damn toes were sexy. I was pathetic.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She stood with her hands on her hips. “You’re not feeling sick, are you?”
“Nah. I was just . . . thinking.” I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it onto the chair in the corner of the girls’ small living room. “I was considering a theoretical hypothesis on time travel and ripple effects of changing the past.”
“Oh, God, don’t talk science to me.” She flopped down to the sofa, sprawling there, head back and eyes closed. I pretended not to notice how that position thrust out her already luscious tits. “I’ve been studying advanced botany all day. Since six this morning. I’m so done. I don’t want to hear about parthenocarpy or see an ocrea again.” She opened one eye. “Why were you thinking about time travel? You’re not taking any science courses this semester. Did you blow off studying today and watch Dr. Who instead?” Suspicion clouded her face, her lips pushing out.
“No, I did not.” My fingers itched to reach out and run my fingers over the soft denim that covered her thigh. “I studied. I’ve done nothing but study for days. There was no watching of anything.”
“Hmmmm.” She sighed. “Okay, then. Are you ready to tackle Shakespeare?”
“I guess so.” I unzipped my backpack and pulled out my laptop. “Let’s tackle the essays first, and then you can quiz me on the terms and definitions. You’re stronger on those than I am.”
We worked steadily for a solid hour. We both wrote short essays and compared our points, and then Zelda began firing questions at me, correcting the ones I missed and explaining the ones I didn’t remember. The woman amazed me. She might’ve been exhausted from hours of cramming, but she was still sharp as a tack.
“You’re still forgetting a couple of themes from The Tempest.” Zelda tapped her pen onto her notebook. “You know this. Just think about it a minute. It’s easy. This question is a gimme.”
“Oh, God, the themes.” I groaned and covered my face. “I can’t think of any more. I’m pretty sure I named at least a hundred.”
“Exaggerate much?” Zelda propped her feet on the coffee table. “C’mon, try to get the last four. It’s just—” She paused as her stomach growled loudly.
I raised one eyebrow. “Hungry, are we, Ms. Porter?”
Her face went pink, which had to be the most adorable thing ever. “Sorry. I’ve been working so hard today that I kind of forgot to eat.” She pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I think we have some leftover pizza in