Never Give Up - Heidi Lis Page 0,42
comfort in one another, giving each other strength like we always have done. This small gesture is only a fraction of what seems like a natural thing for us, well the old us anyway.
Our unspoken words speak volumes to the very strong connection we have. Our souls, sing a tune familiar only to us. My teeth indent into my lower lip and my eyes pool with tears. Will he tell her the truth why he no longer went by Micah? For her sake, I hope not. For me, I might melt hearing his reason once again.
Searching for the right words, he’s studying Liza’s questioning eyes, intently. He starts and stops a few times, pausing each time. When he does start to speak, it’s soft and sweet.
“When I left, I realized how much I missed the way I felt when El said my name.” He says with nothing but pure honesty.
Oh dear lord, he’s going to tell her the truth. Tightening my fingers in a death hold on his, I’m trying gain his attention to beg him to stop. Not to hurt her with the truth. The only problem is, my gesture could also be taken as a sign of support. That it’s okay to tell her the truth. Shit. Holding my breath, I brace myself for whatever comes out of his mouth.
“When I left, the old me stayed behind. I wanted to hear my name come from her lips. ‘Ace’ has been a replacement name to go by. I’ve spent years, remembering the way she echoed my name, knowing it was coming from the sweetest voice I’d ever heard.” He speaks so soft and utterly sweet as he bares his soul, being completely honest with her. Micah doesn’t lie, even when it would have been easier to do so. How can you not fall under his spell? Seeing him here, hearing his sweet words, having him hold my hand under the table, there are no words to explain what I’m feeling for him right now.
I hold onto his hand for dear life, my body trembles as my tears reach my lips. Desperate to leave, I try to get up and leave the table. I need a breather. Only Micah’s not allowing that to happen, he firmly tightens his hold on me under the table. I’m stuck here, so I quickly take my other hand to wipe my cheeks. Nick ends up handing me a napkin. Not to make it obvious because Micah refuses to give up my one hand, I take my other hand to take the napkin from Nick.
“You still love her, don’t you?” Liza’s question seems like a statement more than a question. Her eyes never leave Micah’s visibly shaken face.
Without pause, he graciously answers. “I don’t know if I’ve ever stopped, that part of my heart has been sealed off for years. I never knew if I would ever see her again.” His voice cracks forcing him to take a shakey drink. “This week has been one of the hardest of my life, only second to the week I left town…left her.” Slowly, his eyes leave her to settle on mine before his charmingly sweet smile hits me.
Resting his arms on the table, Nick leans closer my way. “Are you still in love with him, El?” he asks cordially.
My heads ponders with his question. Not able to concentrate on anything or anybody, I ask myself ‘how the hell do I answer this?’ Do I let my brain answer or my heart? Do I even know, myself? “What?” My lips say the word but it’s my eyes that find it hard to focus on Nick’s conflicted face.
“Just be honest with me,” his words are heartfelt, not an ounce of anger. “We all deserve to know how you feel since Micah pretty much laid out his feelings for you.” How is this possible, is it true? I can’t trust myself right now to believe anything, had I heard him right?
Pain and sorrow are the only emotions I’ve grown accustomed to living with over the years. Right now, both of those emotions are simmering getting ready to overtake every new tear that escape my eyes. Sobs escape past my throat, and I’m desperately searching for a way to tell them how I’m feeling when I’m not sure myself. To say I’m conflicted is an understatement.
“I don’t know how I should be feeling.” A whirlwind of emotions flurry in my mind eager to see which one takes the top spot of