spoon as thoughts tumbled in my brain. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I think I might.’
I gave Jess a sideways glance.
‘Seb Marshall.’
Flicking the teabag out, I leant back against the fridge. ‘It’s stupid, I know. I just…’
‘Hoped he wouldn’t be as great in the flesh as he was.’
‘Pretty much,’ I sighed, yanking the fridge door open and grabbing the milk before sploshing some into Harry’s cup. ‘And then he was all tall and dark and gorgeous. And funny. And caring. And—’
‘Perfect?’
‘Nobody’s perfect.’
‘Present company excepted, obviously.’ This was followed by a loud cough from the other room. ‘I don’t have to marry you, you know!’ Jess tossed back, receiving a laugh in reply.
I couldn’t help smiling. I loved this new side of Jess. She was tall, bright and beautiful. When she walked into a room, it really did light up and men were drawn to her, laughing at her jokes, flattering her, and all hoping to be the one she might choose to go home with. When she’d met Harry, he’d been like this too for the first few moments. Jess had the kind of presence that could temporarily make you lose your train of thought. But then, unexpectedly, he’d teased her. Like I would tease her. But the difference was, we’d known each other since we were four years old. I’d held my breath, waiting for Jess’ reaction. Knowing how prone she was to a bit of drama, I was weighing up whether it would be a total blanking or a turn on her five inch spiked heel followed by a dramatic strut. Instead, she’d laughed. Really laughed. And in that moment, I knew. And I think Jess did too. Harry was different. Harry was the one.
‘Anyway,’ I waved the thoughts away. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m just being daft. I guess he’s just the first guy I’ve liked since I broke up with Tom and I got a bit carried away.’
‘You never get carried away, Lottie. Which must mean you really like him.’
‘I do.’
‘Why don’t you just ask him out?’
‘Because I don’t want to.’
Jess rolled her eyes. ‘Harry darling? Could you call the fire brigade? Lottie’s pants are on fire. Get them to send several engines. It’s a full-blown inferno.’
‘You look happy!’ Seb smiled, as he set me back after one of his way too good hugs.
‘I am. I have a new car!’
And a new, far more sensible attitude about you. I can do this.
‘Also, right now, if I hadn’t had my yearly plan in place, I’d be sat at a baby shower I didn’t want to attend, pretending I was enjoying myself while everyone talked about things that currently have absolutely no relevance to my life.’
‘Instead you’re here.’
‘Exactly!’
Seb grinned. ‘Then, I for one am very glad of your plan for the moment. And I’m pretty sure Scooby and Humphrey are too,’ he added as the two dogs had now said hello and started charging round the house playing.
‘For the moment?’
He smiled again, taking my coat. ‘Yes. Because it works in my favour.’
‘You sound like Jess.’
‘Your best friend?’
‘Yes. She was saying the same thing in a roundabout way just the other day.’
‘Wise woman.’
‘Sometimes,’ I said, pushing her advice to just ‘bloody well ask him out’ as she’d left my flat the other night to the back of my mind. ‘Sometimes not so much.’
‘Because of last year?’
Yep. Let’s go with that.
‘The perfect example. But, like I said to her, I’m taking the positives from that. I learned stuff about myself and if I hadn’t done that, I might not be saying no more now.’
Seb nodded. ‘Want a drink before we head out?’
After a long walk with the dogs, Seb and I had gone back to his house, to be greeted by the delicious aroma of a hearty and warming stew he’d put in the oven to slow cook before we left. Over this, accompanied by fresh, crusty bread and good wine, we’d talked and laughed and completely relaxed. The slight awkwardness that had arisen the weekend before was washed away, replaced by comfort and ease. I’d come to my senses at last. There was no denying I thought Seb was gorgeous and all the things I’d told Jess. But I’d also confirmed to myself he was totally off the menu, accepting instead that we had a fabulous friendship and that was better than anything that might be risked by letting my crush continue. So I’d had a long talk with myself and I was done with it. Totally. Absolutely done.
‘Night, Lottie,’ Seb said, hugging