possessed?” Lady Woolhastings said. She looked perturbed. “I, for one, would not welcome such an impudent suggestion from a cleric.”
“A metaphor, I assure you,” Lady Knowe said. “Help me, Duke. Defend your children. Leonidas, for example, isn’t nearly as naughty as the older boys were.”
“I hate to mention it, but dead chickens come to mind when one thinks of Leonidas,” her brother said cheerfully.
“That is true,” Lady Knowe acknowledged.
“Isn’t he merely six years of age? What did he do to the chickens?” Maddie gasped.
Apparently chicken carcasses were occasionally taken from the kitchen and made their way under the covers of dislikable guests staying at the castle, thanks to little Leonidas, who would tuck them carefully under the coverlets.
“It isn’t the smell that’s vile,” Lady Knowe said judiciously, “as much as the feathers. They paint them red, you see, so when someone puts their feet down in the bed, they encounter a disagreeably sticky, wet object. When they remove their feet, they appear to be covered with blood. Shrieking invariably ensues.”
Maddie winced.
“Naughty,” Lady Woolhastings stated.
“I believe you know the Bishop of Halmarken, Lady Woolhastings?” Lady Knowe asked.
The lady’s eyes narrowed. “These children behaved so disgracefully toward a man of God?” For the first time, she seemed genuinely affronted. “I should send them to bed without any supper at all.”
“They also played the dead-chicken trick on a scion of the Swedish royal family,” Hugo said. “I do not blame Leonidas; after all, he’s only six years old. My older sons planned the trick, even if Leo was dispatched to the royal bed with the infamous chicken.”
“I know what I’d do,” Maddie exclaimed. She was obviously enjoying herself immensely. “I’d make those boys sleep with a dead chicken at their feet for a whole night. Perhaps a week.”
Lady Knowe shook her head, her eyes twinkling. “Dearest, think of the nursemaids. They are the most valuable members of a household, as you shall soon learn. They won’t tolerate odor, let alone stray feathers, and one can hardly blame them.” She lowered her voice. “They have much to put up with, as it is. I am loath to admit it, but His Grace’s children have been very slow to learn to use the privy.”
“Well, that I will not put up with,” Maddie said, nodding her head as if she had the faintest idea how to train a child.
“Wetting the bed,” Lady Knowe said with a melodramatic groan. “Day and night. During naps until the age of five. We have three more years of it ahead, given that little Joan is scarcely two.” She heaved a lugubrious sigh. “But, of course, they are darling children. Edith met them yesterday and I’m certain she agreed with me.”
“Indeed,” the lady stated.
“I brought all eight of them to London. If you don’t mind plain speaking, they are tired of my oversight. I am always having to punish them for this or that.”
“The boys are at Eton,” Lady Woolhastings pointed out.
“When they are at Eton. They’re constantly being sent down for some prank. I can’t decide whether Alaric or Parth is the naughtier, but on balance, I think Parth wins. We had to pay the barkeeper after that most unfortunate episode with his daughter.”
“One of your sons cavorted with a barmaid?” Lady Woolhastings said, turning to Hugo. Her brow was furrowed.
“‘Cavorted’ is a strong word,” he said.
It was clear to Ophelia that Hugo knew nothing of the barmaid, and Parth didn’t either. In short, Lady Knowe had begun to embroider the truth in an elaborate effort to alarm Lady Woolhastings.
“I never share such trifles with the duke,” Lady Knowe said, leaning over to pat Lady Woolhastings on the knee. “A good half of each day is spent soothing the anguished spirits of those who have fallen victim to His Grace’s children. I cannot wait until he takes a third duchess. I mean to retire to an estate I have in Kent and try to recover my lost youth!”
For the first time, Lady Woolhastings looked appalled. Ophelia saw her assessing Lady Knowe’s wrinkles.
“They have turned my hair white,” Hugo said with a shrug.
Ophelia rolled her eyes. She’d seen Hugo’s hair at close range. Perhaps there was a little silver over the ears, but only enough to make him look distinguished.
Lady Knowe smiled sympathetically at her brother. “As we have both learned, when one has children, particularly so many children, one must give up on life’s vanities.”
“I did not neglect myself while raising my daughters,” Lady Woolhastings stated.
“I am hoping that I