Laura couldn’t allow her into her life. To do that would be to lose all that she had, Steve and dear little Ollie. Steve would never understand why she’d felt drawn to Ollie, who really was the living, breathing image of Jacob. She didn’t understand it herself, other than that in having Ollie around, she felt as if she had a little piece of Jacob back. Steve might forgive her that. He might believe that she truly cared about him too. He couldn’t possibly understand, though, why she had to keep her mother out of her life now that he and Ollie were part of it. It was too unbelievable. Her mother would twist anything she told him. Cite her sleepwalking and amnesia as reasons for her confusion. She would show him doctors’ reports, irrefutable proof that her poor muddled daughter wasn’t in possession of her faculties that night, nor would she ever be, given that her condition still existed.
Sherry wasn’t here to apologise. No one would ever believe Laura if she tried to tell them that the only reason her mother kept turning up where she wasn’t welcome was to destroy her relationship, just as she had before. She wanted to keep Laura close, keep a watchful eye on her; feed her another sedative, keep her quiet. Failing that, she would destroy her. If her mother even imagined that she’d remembered, she would stop at nothing to keep her from telling her secrets, even if that meant having her labelled mad and locked away where she would no longer be ‘a danger to children’. If Laura tried to explain all that, people would think she was mad. She couldn’t let her mother win, not this time. She had to keep Ollie safe. She had to find Jacob.
‘Morning, Mrs Caldwell,’ Steve said behind her, and Laura’s heart stalled. In using the surname that she had abandoned, he was no doubt hinting that he knew her history. But he only knew as much as her mother wanted him to. Earlier, realising he was on the phone, and guessing it was the landline since his mobile was on his bedside table, she’d picked up the phone in the bedroom, heard their conversation. Sherry had painted a distorted picture, hinting that Laura might have had something to do with what had happened to their dear lost little boy on that darkest of nights. She was challenging Laura to paint it differently. And then she would reiterate how much she cared for her, how she was scared for her and wanted to protect her. She was a liar, thinking herself safe in the knowledge that Laura had no way to prove it.
‘Morning, Steve.’ Sherry smiled warmly at him and stepped inside. ‘We spoke on the phone,’ she informed Laura, looking her over and for once refraining from commenting on her dress. ‘Such a lovely man. So understanding.’ She leaned towards her then, her voice lowered to a whisper. ‘You should forget the past and try to hold onto him, darling.’
Laura would have laughed at such a brazen threat had Steve not been watching her carefully, making Laura wonder whether his mind had been poisoned against her already.
‘It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?’ Sherry went on blithely. Laura could hardly believe she was discussing the weather.
‘It certainly is.’ Steve smiled, but the look in his eyes was wary now, as he glanced between them. He didn’t realise that Laura knew he’d been talking to her mother. That she understood why he was here this morning instead of at work. He was trying to facilitate a reconciliation between them, imagining that they would talk together, cry together, embrace and move forward. Poor, kind Steve, he’d been taken in by Sherry completely.
‘Why don’t you two have a chat in the garden?’ he suggested. ‘I’ll bring you some drinks. And some of Laura’s home-made chocolate cake, maybe?’ He glanced questioningly at her.
‘Oh, that would be lovely, wouldn’t it, darling?’ Sherry declared, striding towards the kitchen without waiting for Laura to answer.
Laura stared incredulously after her. She’s not here to apologise. She’s not trying to protect me. She’s protecting herself, she wanted to scream. But she couldn’t.
And her mother knew she wouldn’t.
Twenty-Six
Sarah
After phoning in sick at work – feeling horribly guilty – Sarah had steeled herself to call Steve. She’d been surprised when, sounding as if he’d expected her to ring, he’d invited her to come to the house. What was he doing there, she wondered, when he