they have somehow mended their relationship? No, they couldn’t; he knew that categorically. They were way past broken; irreparable. He’d been devastated by her infidelity, crushed inside for so long. And then one day he’d woken up to the fact that he’d simply stopped loving her. He could have co-parented, though. Would have, willingly.
‘What’s she like? Your girlfriend?’ Courtney asked. ‘I saw her briefly at the pub, as you know. She seemed nice, natural.’
‘She is,’ Joe said, his heart twisting afresh. ‘She’s kind …’ He was going to say she was a good mother to Ollie, but stopped himself. That would be cruel, given Courtney’s circumstances. ‘Thoughtful. Genuine, you know?’
He hadn’t meant to make the point that Courtney wasn’t any of those things, but the fact was, she wasn’t. He hadn’t been looking for a relationship when he’d bumped into Sarah. When he had, though … she’d felt like a breath of fresh air. She had no hidden side to her, he knew that from when they’d gone out together way back. She hadn’t changed. She’d still been the same pretty, shy, caring woman he’d known then. He’d lain awake for hours last night, wondering how it had all gone so wrong, but he knew that too. It was his fault, not Sarah’s. He’d been so determined not to be on the receiving end of the kind of crap he’d been through with Courtney, he hadn’t stopped to remind himself that Sarah wasn’t her. She wasn’t the sort of person who would use him. He doubted very much she would have embarked on a physical relationship with him if she hadn’t had feelings for him. When she made love with him, it was completely. The way she touched him, the way she kissed him, the way she breathed out his name …
He loved her. In that moment, he realised that part of him always had, if that were possible with the mother of all fucked-up relationships in between. He needed to talk to her, to listen to her; stop judging her because of his own paranoia. This new development with Laura she’d mentioned, that wasn’t her being neurotic. He needed her to know he was on her side.
He’d call her from the car, he decided. Pray that she would accept his apology – again – and tell her he would do his best to look into Laura’s background. If she was going to question Steve about his girlfriend’s mysterious past, he would offer to go with her. She might not want him to, but he didn’t like the idea of her confronting her ex on her own.
‘I should go,’ he said, glancing back at Courtney. ‘You have my number if you—’ He stopped, apprehension knotting his stomach as he noticed that she appeared to be in pain, her face pale and her hands pressed hard to her pelvis. ‘Courtney, what’s wrong?’ He raced back to her as she doubled up. ‘What is it?’ Panic climbed his chest. ‘Tell me.’
‘Nothing,’ she gasped, and attempted to wave him away. ‘Go. I’m fine. I …’
Christ. ‘It’s okay, I’ve got you,’ he said, sweeping her up as her legs gave way beneath her.
Twenty-Five
Laura
As she came down the stairs, Laura wondered who it was ringing the doorbell so early in the morning. Opening the front door, she was tempted to close it again fast. But for Steve, who appeared from the lounge, she would have done.
‘I’ve come to apologise,’ Sherry said, her smile uncertain rather than insincere as it normally was. Laura eyed her mistrustfully. What was she up to? Something, she had to be.
‘I visited my mother’s grave this morning – it’s my thinking space, as you know,’ Sherry went on. ‘I’ve been doing some reflecting and I’ve realised I was being unfair to you, not considering your feelings.’
Considering her …? Laura almost laughed. The woman had never considered her feelings in her life.
‘I overreacted last time I was here,’ Sherry continued undaunted, her expression contrite. ‘I wondered if we could …’ She paused and glanced past Laura to the hall. ‘Do you think I could come in, darling, rather than discussing things on the doorstep?’
Laura had absolutely nothing she wanted to discuss with her. There was never any discussion between them, only ever Sherry insisting that the story she’d told the police about the night Jacob had disappeared was the truth; that Laura was wrong, that she was muddled. The woman was a liar. She was here because she was terrified of being