to. Which is what you should have done.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“I’m sorry too,” Andie said.
Randy shook his head. “You don’t have a thing to apologize for, Andie. I’m sorry for the way you were treated in my establishment. That kid’s picture has been added to the wall of shame, and I promise you he won’t ever be allowed in the door again.” Randy’s gaze swung back to me with an expression like a raptor that had just sighted a mouse. “Exactly how drunk are you?”
“Not that drunk,” I lied, trying to keep Mariana from getting in trouble.
“You know I can check your bar tab, right?”
“I was buying drinks for other people,” I said with a shrug.
Randy sighed and gritted his teeth. “I guess we better find someone to drive you home.”
“I can do it,” Andie said.
I swiveled my head to look at her, feeling guilty and elated at the same time. Then even more guilty for being elated.
“You sure?” Randy asked her, arching an eyebrow.
“I don’t mind.” Andie turned to look at me with a smile that shot straight to the center of my shriveled husk of a heart. “I’ll take Wyatt home.”
3
Andie
Wyatt fell asleep five minutes after he climbed into my car. I had to shake him awake and pry him out of the passenger seat when we got to his apartment.
He seemed a lot drunker now that the adrenaline from the fight had worn off. I should probably count myself lucky he hadn’t thrown up in my Jeep. He leaned against me heavily with one arm slung around my shoulders, stumbling slightly as we trudged up the walk to his duplex.
When we got to his door, I propped him against the wall and held out my hand. “Keys.”
His eyes had fallen closed again as soon as we stopped walking, and he had a hand pressed to his face like it was hurting him. He plunged his other hand into the front pocket of his jeans and promptly dropped his keys on the ground. “Shit,” he muttered, wincing, and tumbled forward to retrieve them.
“Whoa.” I grabbed him, shoving my shoulder against his chest to force him upright again. “Let me get those. If you hit the floor, that’s gonna be it. I’ll never be able to move you, and you’ll have to spend the night outside with the possums.”
Wyatt had a fear of opossums—also known as didelphiphobia—that dated back to an encounter on our farm when he was a kid. They were harmless—beneficial creatures that ate pests, helped clean up messes, and were nearly immune to rabies—but he’d never gotten over the sight of one hissing at him and showing off its impressive mouthful of teeth.
“I don’t like possums,” he mumbled as I held him in place with one hand while I stooped to snatch up the keys with the other. “They’re like giant rats, but with even more teeth. They have more teeth than any other mammal, you know.”
“I’m the one who told you that,” I said as I flipped through his key ring looking for his apartment key.
“That’s how come I know it.”
I found the right key and jammed it in the lock. “They also have a bifurcated penis.”
He frowned at me. “What’s bifurcated mean?”
“It means it’s forked.” The lock was sticky and I had to wiggle it a few times before it opened. “It’s got two heads.”
Wyatt shuddered as I draped his arm around me and guided him inside. “How do the lady possums feel about that?”
“Since they’ve got two vaginas, I imagine they find it convenient.”
Wyatt’s shithole apartment was in real shithole top form. Beer bottles and weed paraphernalia littered the coffee table. Discarded clothes lay on the floor and most of the furniture. The kitchen was full of dirty dishes, and I couldn’t even bear to imagine what the bathroom looked like.
Speaking of, Wyatt made it all of three steps inside before he groaned, muttered, “Oh, Jesus,” and launched himself at the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
I heard retching sounds and went to stand outside the door. “You okay?” I asked him during a pause. “You need help?”
“I’m fine. Don’t come in here.”
The retching started up again and I left him to it. It wouldn’t be the first time one of us had held the other’s hair back while we barfed, but I wasn’t going to push my way in if he didn’t want help.
While he was otherwise occupied, I surveyed his apartment with disgust and concern. Wyatt hadn’t ever been much of a