in his pocket, right hand reaching out to me. My lip curls as he gives me a lazy handshake. Forbes.com would not be impressed.
“Hey, you must work here,” says Limp Noodle, flashing me a charming smile that raises my hackles even higher. “What can you tell me about the heating and cooling in here? Think you would mind showing us around the back so we can bang on the pipes a bit?”
“Excuse me? Would you like to place an order? We’re a restaurant.” I deliberately play dumb, because if I acknowledge what I know, that they’re here to scope out the property because my landlord anticipates that my dad won’t be able to make the lease, I’ll either scream or cry, or both.
“Not for long,” Tape Measure whispers under his breath.
“Shut up, Nate,” Gray Hair snaps when he sees my stricken look. “I’m sorry, miss, that was uncalled for.” He runs a broad palm over his face. “I’m Gary Brennan. My brothers and I were under the impression that this building was looking for new tenants. I apologize for the disruption if we were mistaken. We’ll be leaving now.”
They shuffle out, exchanging whispers that are too low for me to hear. In fact, I can hardly hear anything through the sound of blood rushing though my ears. For a minute everything whites out in panic.
Then I become aware that my brother is shaking me by the shoulder. “Jiejie, what’s going on?” From the impatience in his voice I gather that it’s not the first time he’s asked.
“I have no idea,” I mumble, turning my head so I don’t have to face him, except now I’m looking at Will.
Will, whose mouth is pressed into a tight frown, whose dark eyes are filled with understanding.
It hurts, but I turn away from his pity. I don’t look at either of them. They’re not the ones who will have the answers.
“I’m gonna go find Dad,” I croak out finally, though I’m pretty sure he won’t have the answers I want, either.
This Is My Brain, Trying
WILL
“Is that about… Is our landlord gonna kick us out?” Alan asks in the silence after Jocelyn leaves. There’s a resignation to his tone that unsettles me. He’s too young to be so weary.
“I’m not sure,” I say. I’m too much in shock—a tape measure, for heaven’s sake—to come up with anything more reassuring.
“I don’t wanna move,” he says, but he’s not whining; it’s more like he’s stating a fact. “I’ve got friends, and now I’m getting better grades. I don’t wanna have to start all over again. What if other schools don’t do all the stuff you made them do for me?”
“If you get an IEP they would have to,” I say. “It’s the law.”
Alan still looks skeptical, and I don’t blame him. I’ve lived in the same house for all sixteen years of my life, and even the thought of leaving for college makes my throat tighten.
“Plus, it’s not written in stone yet. We’ve been trying.…” I shake my head, and it’s like I knock loose my thoughts, because all of a sudden, the mental hand-wringing starts. How could I have been so complacent as to think that we were succeeding? I didn’t try hard enough. I should have made more calls, more visits, really pounded the pavement as if my life depended on it. Because it did, my life with Jocelyn depended on it. And now it might all be ruined.
Stupid, stupid. I’m always so stupid.
Maybe their landlord could be convinced to make more favorable terms on the lease, or we could make a GoFundMe to cover the shortfall in rent. We could make the restaurant a co-op, like the Utica Bookstore did when it almost went under a year ago.
I need to call Rebecca Ross. Or, maybe, her boss.
“Do you know your landlord’s name?” I ask Alan.
He screws up his face. “I think it starts with a ‘B’ and ends in an ‘er’?”
“I’ll ask your sister.” If I ever get to talk to Jocelyn again, that is. I feel bereft. Panicky on her behalf. “Do you talk to her much?”
Alan gives me his “my tutor’s really smart but also kind of a dumbass” look. “I talk to her every day.”
“No, I mean… does she confide in you?”
Alan screws his face up. “You mean, talk talk?”
I nod.
“Not really. I’m her younger brother, not her BFF.”
“Priya,” I say. Of course. “That’s who she confides in?”
“I guess.” Alan shrugs. “My mom’s always yelling at Jocelyn for spending too much