Murder_ A Sinful Secrets Romance - Ella James Page 0,149

him clearly now. His head thrown back as he laughs at me. His radiant grin as he pulls me against him on the couch. The notch between his eyebrows as he watches football, one fist drawn up in support of his team’s efforts. But because I watch, I also see the way he’ll be standing somewhere, sometimes, and his face will bleach out. I notice when he reaches out and touches his fingertips to the nearest piece of furniture. The dizzy-looking blinks when he thinks I’m not watching. And of course, I know his haunting dreams. Who could blame him for latching onto the first person he finds?

I try to tell myself we like the same TV shows. We have amazing sex. We like cooking, the woods, the bears, and motorcycles. Martial arts.

More so than that, I feel it. I feel this between us, and it’s good. I know it’s good.

But…God. He’s spent ten years in war zones. What if, after being home a while, he wakes up one day and feels differently? What if his needs change? That’s part of what went wrong with Elvie. As his ego grew, he needed a girlfriend who could double as a fangirl. I was never that.

I hear Bear’s hoarse “mmm” about the time I feel his finger stroke along my eyebrow. “Gwen?”

His voice is dry. His lids are heavy. “You okay?”

He’s so, so handsome; I can’t help the smile I give in answer.

“I’m okay.” I kiss his cheek. “You woke up fast.”

He gives me a crooked smile. “Missed you.”

His big, rough hands smooth down my belly, stroking my waist, as we kiss until I have to pull away to breathe, and then his hand strokes down toward my pussy.

“So perfect,” he rasps as he slides a finger in.

I clench around it.

“Fucking God…” He finds my breast and starts to suckle at it.

“Someone woke up horny.” I giggle.

“The way you smell…” He inhales deeply, and I wrap an arm around his head.

“My Bear…”

We find ourselves in the classic “69” pose. Barrett tortures me with his soft, hot mouth and wicked fingers. In return, I take him deep into my throat and tease his balls until he’s blowing hot breaths on my swollen pussy; he’s got a finger hooked inside me, but his tongue can barely move. For my part, I’m shaking, collapsed on his face because my legs can’t hold me. As his breaths pick up, I start to throb harder.

Our groans mingle in the soft, still air until my body draws up and I start to spasm hard around his fingers. At that moment, his cock throbs.

“Ahh…”

I love the way his hips shake and his hands squeeze my thighs. I suck until he’s finished and let him rest inside my mouth for a moment before I draw off. I love the dazed look on his face as I look over my shoulder.

“Lie beside me.” He holds his arm out, and I snuggle in.

Barrett and I get dressed and start on eggplant parmesan. We fill the kitchen with our smiles and laughter, and then Cleo and Kellan show up, and they help us. Someone opens two bottles of pinot noir, and we wind up eating around the counter. Finally I shoo them to the table, where we talk until we’re all old friends, and then we move into the den and play Cards Against Humanity. Somehow it’s midnight; Cleo and I are braiding Barrett’s hair, and Kellan, in my armchair, looks half asleep. After Barrett extricates himself from us, I show Cleo my scar, and she “ohhh”s, and Barrett says he’ll go next door to get the place ready for them to spend the night.

“You don’t need to,” Cleo tries to tell him, but he waves her off. “No prob,” he murmurs, and I watch him get his jacket on and slip into his boots. He looks kind of drunk, and very handsome.

“Be back in a few,” he says, and with one final glance at Kellan, zonked out in the chair, and one soft-eyed look at me, he goes.

I get my fleece blanket and lay it over Kellan’s long body. Cleo steps over to the chair and drapes herself along its puffy arm, curling herself around Kellan’s upper body without actually touching him.

“You guys are so phenomenal together.”

She smiles, and I look at Kellan, then back to her. “Is he going to be okay?” I ask softly. I only ask because I’ve been drinking. Maybe that’s why she answers.

“Yeah. I mean, I hope.”