Murder_ A Sinful Secrets Romance - Ella James Page 0,148

fall. “I’m okay. I’m sorry. I’ve— always been a shaker. I used to shiver during hide and seek in preschool.”

“Oh, Piglet.” He pulls me closer, so my breasts are mashed against his chest and his thick arms are locked around me. “That’s adorable,” he says softly. “And sad as fuck.” He pulls the covers over me and holds me so close, I can hear his heartbeat, feel his body heat.

His hands run up and down my back, moving in circles. “What’s got you shaken up, Gwennie?”

I swallow. My face is tucked against his neck, and I don’t want to look at him. More tears drip down my cheeks.

“I read this quote somewhere,” I rasp. His arm tightens around me. “It says something like, ‘Tell me they were wrong for leaving.’”

“They were wrong,” he says.

Which prompts another little shiver.

“Fuck, this rips me up, Pig.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His lips find my forehead, brushing over my brow. “It’s cute, too. Sad and fucking sweet. Just like Piglet from Pooh Bear.”

I laugh for just a second, and I almost ask him if he watched a lot of Pooh. Instead I hear myself say, “Elvie never came to see me.”

“What?”

“In rehab.” My voice cracks.

“What do you mean?”

“In the hospital I said he couldn’t, then he went to Spain. He didn’t want me,” I whisper. I swallow back more tears, and Barrett’s hand cups my face. His eyes bore into mine, gentle and guiding.

“He’s an idiot. He was wrong. I swear, Gwen.”

“I think he was nervous or something. I don’t know.”

Barrett’s body tenses. “That’s bullshit.” His arms tighten around me. “No. He was a coward. Not you. Him. A fucking crazy little coward.”

He takes my face gently in his big hands and tilts it back, so he can see my leaking eyes.

“You hear what I’m saying? He. Was. Wrong. That’s all there is to that. Trust me.”

I bite my lip and try to nod, and cry as I do.

“I didn’t know I was upset still.”

His jaw tightens. “Of course you were. Who wouldn’t be?” he asks in a rough whisper. “He’s a fucking fool. Believe me there.”

I nod, and find the nerve to wrap an arm around his lean waist. “Thanks.”

I’m still crying. His arms tighten around me.

“No thanks needed, Piglet. Just speaking the truth.”

I decide, sometime after we kiss, and Barrett strokes my back and arms and shoulders, and I lace one leg through both of his and he drifts off to sleep, that Barrett is my angel.

Where he came from— What he did before now— Doesn’t matter. It will never, ever matter to me.

I love him. I love him, and he’s mine, and I’ll do anything for him. Be it rational or stupid, sensible or foolish…

I would fight for him. I think I’d help him hide a body.

As I lie beside with him, I feel stronger. Healthier. I feel like a superhero, my wounds healing just from being pressed against him, being near his magic. Just from breathing his soft breath and feeling his warm skin, I’m getting better.

This man is the other half of my heart. I didn’t even know that I was missing it—but now I’ve found it. I feel like it’s beating for the first time ever.

SEVEN

GWENNA

I could get up while he sleeps, but I stay beside him. His big body is warm and comforting against mine and I relish the smell of him. I like to listen to his breathing. When he’s sleeping, I feel like his protector. The one time his brow rumples, I kiss his cheek, and he tightens his grip on me.

Holding him like this is pure joy, a sensation stronger than I’ve ever felt.

My mind swims with images of Kellan and Cleo. The sly, sweet way he looked sideways at her and took her hand when she said the bit about wanting to marry Barrett and I off to each other. I think about her reaching for his hand in the hallway of the studio. I think of Barrett reaching for my hand in the car. Mutual affection. Even as I feel Barrett’s heart beat against mine, it’s hard to believe this is real. After Elvie… I blink against the blurriness in my eyes.

I was a model, and even then I wasn’t enough for Elvie. How is it that I’m enough for Barrett—the me that I am now?

Is it because he’s desperate? My chest aches at the thought, but I can’t deny how lost he was… how lonely. I know him more now, think I can see