“A laptop. You’re the only brat from this house over eighteen without one.”
Technically, I had a laptop, but I made certain my family didn’t discover it, as I used it specifically for filing and claiming bounties. Having a computer that didn’t belong to my work would make my life a lot easier. “Really?”
“Really. It’s a nice one, too. It made your fellow prisoners jealous.”
I giggled over how Uncle Henry referred to Hugh and Harvey as my fellow prisoners. “Those jerks, evicting me from prison early. I could’ve used the few extra weeks.”
“I heard that, Harri,” my mother complained from the kitchen. “My womb has not and never will be a prison.”
“Tell that to the current inmates,” I shot back. “They better be girls this time, and I’ve already named them.”
“Did you?” My mother, all five feet and zero inches of her, strolled out of the kitchen while dodging my brothers, who remained in various states of sprawled across the floor. “Did you discuss this with your father?”
“He okayed my choices. If Philip isn’t a Philip, she’s a Paige, Patrick will be Patricia, Peter will be Pamela, and Paul will be Pandora.”
With narrowed eyes promising vengeance, my mother looked me over. She, dressed in a frilly white and blue apron over a plain white farm dress, wouldn’t intimidate most folks, but I knew better.
My momma was about to take a few chunks out of my hide for getting uppity.
I braced for the worst.
“I’m going with this on a single condition.”
Yep, something was about to go down, and it wouldn’t end well for me. “What is your condition?”
“You have a month. Bring home a man and make him a good one.”
If I brought Sebastian home with me, the clan of lynxes would ensure he’d never bother me again. He’d also roar at least once before they took him down. He’d go down while I purred, and I saw zero problems with killing multiple birds with one stone. “What kind of man?”
As long as she said lycanthrope or listed any decent qualification, I could probably jury rig it so Sebastian fit the bill.
“One you hope to keep around, of course. What else use do you have for a man? If you can’t take him to bed, what would you do with one? All they do is complain, complain, complain.” My mother aimed a kick at Uncle Henry’s ribs, and he dove out of her reach. After a brief scuffle, he hid behind my legs. “I’ve never heard worse whining in my life before today, Harri.”
Well, Sebastian might be useful in bed; he turned heads, and half the reason I enjoyed poking him with a stick involved sticking around to admire him while goading him. Roaring brought out his best attributes, and I bet any witnessing ladies would thank me if they learned I annoyed him on purpose. “Is that why I’m allowed to shake everybody down for their lunch money? Because honestly? I was expecting to be greeted at the door with an edict to pick my switch.”
“You’re too pretty to switch,” my mother replied.
My poor mother already suffered from pregnancy brain. Still, I could con the annoying lion into cooperating with me. All it would take was challenging his masculinity and courage to get him roaring and dancing to my tune. Making the inquiry would likely trip his trigger. How many times could I make the lion roar? Some games needed to be played, and I’d have a great time. “I will attempt to bring home a man, but I make no promises that my attempt will be successful. But I will make one genuine attempt to bring home a man while I am on vacation, presuming you keep all of the whining, infected males in your turf and away from my spa.”
“Your brothers, father, and uncles will be thoroughly educated should they come within ten blocks of your spa.”
“Five miles,” I countered, which would cover the entirety of planned hunting grounds in Cincinnati.
“Very well. Five miles. Hear that, you wretches? You go within five miles of your sister’s spa, and there’ll be hell to pay. Now, get out your wallets and pay her off, and stop your damned whining already. Harri, darling, I’ve fried chicken in the kitchen for you for your drive, and so help me, if any of those monsters stole any of yours, they’ll live to regret it.”
“I’ve been guarding her chicken, Ma,” either Hugh or Harvey replied from the kitchen.