did you stop skating, Wren?”
“I didn’t have a lot of time for fantasy after my initiation.”
“But it didn’t have to be a fantasy!” she screamed, losing her patience. “I saw that with my own two eyes. Why can’t you?”
“Because I was already under Fox’s thumb, Lou. I had a choice to make and not a lot of time to make it.”
“He made you work for him?” And I was lucky I did. The alternative, as son of a traitor, would have been for Fox to take pleasure in killing me rather than corrupting me.
“No…I convinced him.”
She blinked, and I could feel her disbelief washing over me like crashing waves. “Why?”
“I never told you, but…my mother was a prostitute, Lou.” I felt shame heat my cheeks, and I couldn’t help but wonder what Lou would think of me. “She wasn’t that much older than you when she started working for Exiled. It’s how she met my father.”
“He was a-a John?”
I shook my head and took a deep breath before saying, “He was Exiled.” It was only part of the truth, but I couldn’t risk telling her the whole truth and having her look at me differently. I glanced at her and saw her watching me, and the look on her face told me her eyes were wide open in more ways than one.
“You said you were already under Fox’s thumb. Is…is he your father?”
The look of utter revulsion etched across her face had my stomach turning. At that moment, I knew I could never tell her the truth. I’d lose her.
“No.”
That much wasn’t a lie. Fox wasn’t my father, but she had no idea how close my father had been to Nathaniel Fox.
Her loud sigh of relief had me gripping the steering wheel.
“Where is he now?”
“He’s dead.”
I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. “Your father was the one who gave you this car, isn’t he?”
I nodded. “I didn’t meet him until I was eleven. After my mother died.”
“If they both worked for Fox, how could that be?”
“My mom kept me far away from her lifestyle. It was mandatory that she live in the stable, but it was no place for a child, so she left me in the care of a widow out in Jersey. Before my mother died, I had no idea my father even knew of my existence. When she found out she was pregnant with me, she left the stable. I guess I wasn’t enough for her to turn her life around, though, because after I was born, she went back. To him. When she died, my father claimed me. He made me a part of his life, and then he died, leaving me alone in it. I wasn’t given a choice when I became a part of this world, but it was my choice to stay in it.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw her frown as she fought to understand. “So you became a menace to get back at your parents?”
I laughed, but it was bitter. “Most of the guys who join Exiled are just kids looking to rebel against their parents, Lou. What makes you think I’d be so different?”
She was silent for a long while, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice when she said, “How did your father die?”
“He betrayed Exiled, and Fox punished him for it.”
“Hold on a sec!” she shouted as she gaped at me. “You’re working for the man who killed your father?”
“My father betrayed me too, Lou.” I clenched my teeth so hard I was surprised when I didn’t chip a tooth. “He’s the reason my mother is dead.”
“But you said your mother’s death was an accident.”
“Getting hit by that car was an accident, but the reason she was there in the first place wasn’t. Fox made sure I knew about my father’s infidelity when he told me what my father had done.”
“And if you could turn back time and change one thing?” she asked me.
The light in front of me turned red, so I slammed on the brakes and faced her. “I’m not sure I’d be strong enough to go through with it.”
“Why?”
“Because it means I’d never have met you.”
She frowned. “You don’t know that.”
“Maybe not, but if things were different, the way they should be, you wouldn’t need me. And you sure as hell wouldn’t want me in your life.”
She frowned, and I could tell she was confused. “But isn’t becoming Exiled the thing you’d change?”
“No,” I admitted quietly, and she