told me that when other’s look at you, they see your face, your smile, your kindness and your beauty.”
“Mmkay,” I said, not understanding why he needed to tell Steve that. “That’s it?”
“Nope,” Steve replied.
I eyed him and pursed my lips. “You’re going to make me guess the rest?”
“If we had the time I would,” he teased. “But since the clock is ticking, Gideon said that he sees your soul, and that he’ll love you until the end of time.”
I was flabbergasted, humbled and thrilled—so delighted that I forgot one very important thing…
“Gideon is getting so banged when I see him again,” I announced to a grinning Steve.
“You haven’t banged the Grim Reaper yet?” he asked, shocked. “His balls have to be purple by now.”
“I’m sure his balls are— Oh shit,” I said, slapping my forehead and wanting to turn back time about two minutes.
“What’s wrong with his balls?” Steve asked, clearly not on the same page. “He looks very healthy to me.”
“Umm, Steve—” I started, only to be cut off.
“Does he suffer from cryptorchidism?”
“What the hell does that even mean?” I asked, wildly confused.
“It’s an undescended testicle,” Steve told me. “Nowadays it can be corrected with surgery, but Gideon is older than time, so maybe it stayed up there. I don’t think that it’s a problem though. Have you seen his balls?”
“No,” I shouted. “I have not seen his balls. But here’s the problem. I know I haven’t seen his balls, and I know you haven’t seen his balls.”
“Gideon also knows you haven’t seen his balls,” Steve added unhelpfully.
I wanted to scream. “Yes, while that is correct, now Heather, Charlie, Candy Vargo, Tim and Darth Vader also know I haven’t seen his balls,” I said, letting my chin fall to my chest in embarrassed defeat.
“Shit,” Steve muttered, trying not to laugh.
He failed.
I joined him.
“How about we stop talking about Gideon’s balls?” I suggested, still giggling.
“Sounds like a plan,” Steve agreed, squeezing my hand. “Why don’t you apologize to Gideon?”
“He’s not here,” I pointed out.
“True, but he can hear us, right?” Steve asked, grinning like a fool.
I nodded and punched him in the arm. “Sorry, Gideon,” I called out into the nothingness.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine the Grim Reaper’s reaction to the last few minutes. Probably horrified and regretting his promise to Steve.
“I’m sorry too,” Steve called out. “It’s all my fault for suggesting that your balls hadn’t dropped. Which, by the way, is not a big deal if they haven’t. Just saying…”
“You should really stop now.”
“Roger that,” Steve agreed.
We stood in silence and stared at each other for a long moment. My mind was cluttered with fear laced with confidence. It had taken me a long time to get over Steve’s death. I hoped like hell I wouldn’t be thrown back to that dark place by reliving it.
It didn’t matter. There was a price for everything, and I was willing to pay whatever it took to send my best friend into the light.
“I’ll try to make this as painless as possible for you,” I said.
“Do not do that,” Steve said sternly. “I’m dead, Daisy. Any pain I feel is phantom pain. Just watch it with me. Help me to remember what happened. Please. Am I clear?”
“I hear you,” I told him.
He nodded and eyed me warily. “That was an answer with an omission.”
“Possibly,” I agreed. “Just relax and let me do what I need to do.”
Steve inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He nodded and wrapped me in a tight embrace.
“Tell me what to do,” he whispered with his face buried in my hair.
Honestly, I wasn’t exactly sure. All of the others I’d visited in their mind had remembered what happened to them. Sam, John and Lindsay had known what they’d wanted to tell me. It took Lindsay some convincing to let me into the memories of her murder, but she’d trusted me completely.
Trust.
That was it… I hoped.
“Do you trust me, Steve?” I asked, pulling back and looking into his bright blue eyes.
“With everything I am, Daisy,” he replied, taking both of my hands in his.
“Then close your eyes and open your mind to me. I’ll be with you the entire time.”
“I love you, Daisy. With all my heart, I love you.”
“I love you too. I always have and I always will,” I said, holding back my tears.
I was unsure how quickly he would leave once his innocence had been proven. The concept of sending him into the light was perfect. The reality was devastating.
No pain. No gain.
“Close your eyes,