Yet she still wasn’t happy?
“He introduced me to his sister over lunch one day, and I realized people don’t truly fall in love with the body; they fall in love with the soul. Patricia has the most beautiful soul. But I’m scared, Tanner. She’s a lot smarter. She knows herself so much better. She seems sure of everything.”
And Ellie is still trying to find herself. I finally figured that out. She looked for her identity as my wife. When that failed, she tried to pin it on motherhood. When her ovaries wouldn’t cooperate, she tried to find meaning in being a student. Now she’s looking for some pinnacle of self-actualization in a same-sex partnership. I don’t know Patricia, but I already feel sorry for her. In a few years, Ellie will drift away, and Patricia will probably only have the faintest idea why.
“You didn’t ask for my advice, and at the risk of being overbearing, I’m going to suggest you give her your all. Communicate. Invest your heart this time. Focus not on what you can’t have but what you can.”
She’s quiet for such a long time, I’m worried she’s pissed. “You’re probably right. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“And I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Just like I know this will be one of the last conversations we ever have. It’s sad…but that’s life. We’ve both moved on.
“You going to stay in Maui?”
“Probably. I’m looking into opening a shooting range here. I’ve found a good location. All I have to do is sign the lease.” And come up with the money to start a new business. Right now, that’s a tall order. I’m flat broke.
“Where are you going to live?”
“Once the house sells, I can buy a condo on the island or something.”
“You staying with Joe?” she asks about my buddy Camden’s dad.
“At his place. He’s away on business now.” But he’s due back tomorrow night, so I need to find somewhere else to crash ASAP that won’t cost me a fortune. His studio apartment isn’t big enough for both of us. “The good news is, I’ve met a few of his fishing buddies and found some good restaurants. I’m enjoying the island. It’s a start.”
“Good luck. I hope you find the right someone to spend your life with. I hope she can give you children because I know you want them. And I hope you’re deliriously happy. As far as husbands go, you were mostly decent.”
From Ellie, that’s high praise, but I’m done with marriage, wanting kids, and the illusion of happily ever after. “Thanks. Good luck, El.”
Three beeps tell me she’s gone, probably for good.
It seems odd that what started during a chilly fall night is now ending on a warm spring dawn. Maybe that timing ought to tell me something…
With a sigh, I rise. Since I’m up now, I’ll go ahead and grab a shower.
Three minutes later, I’m toweling off and padding back to my duffel for some clothes. It’s too early on a Sunday to be looking for work, so I might as well go fishing. Once I’ve tossed on some shorts and a tank, I drag Joe’s fishing gear from the corner and search for my shoes.
My phone rings again, the run-of-the-mill ringtone. I almost brush it off, but a glance at the display tells me it’s someone I actually want to talk to. “Hey, Trace. Good to hear from you. Looking for a fishing buddy this morning?”
“I wish. I have a prospective client who wants to meet you, like, now.”
The gravity in his voice tells me he’s got a situation and it’s serious. I shove the fishing gear back in the corner. “What’s up?”
“I’m calling on behalf of a family friend. Amanda is twenty-six. Single mother to a boy about to turn one. The father of her baby is…notorious.”
Interesting choice of words. “Sounds like you’re putting it nicely. Is she worried he’s coming back for her?”
“No, thank God. He’s not violent; he’s dead. But his enemies are after her.”
So they can’t accept that the cause of their anger is gone and chose instead to take it out on a woman? This is why people annoy me.
“I’m happy to do what I can. But I have to be honest. I haven’t done any bodyguarding in a while.”
“And I know you’re just getting settled on the island. I wouldn’t ask…but I don’t know anyone else with your skill set. I’m sure they’re out there, but they’d be a stranger I don’t know if I can trust. These