finger. ‘Carry on with the story.’
‘The story.’ Martha grimaced. ‘The one with no happy ending. OK, I carried on as long as I could. With help from Eunice,’ she amended. ‘She’s Henry’s sister. Very hardworking, very serious. But I owe her a lot. Anyway, a year ago it all got too much for me. I was exhausted, I just couldn’t cope anymore. I sold our big house in Notting Hill and bought this little one instead. Thanks to Henry, our finances were in good shape. And how did I repay him?’ She heaved a sigh. ‘By putting him in a nursing home. That was nice of me, wasn’t it? But you know what? If it had been the other way round, he wouldn’t have done that, I can guarantee you. Henry would have looked after me.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘Oh, I do.’
‘He’s getting the best care. You visit him… who’s to say that isn’t better?’
But Martha was giving him an odd look. Tony held up his hands in surrender. ‘I’m sorry. I followed you yesterday afternoon. I had to know.’
She nodded slowly. ‘It was stupid of me to ignore you and hope you’d disappear. But you do see now, don’t you, why we can’t see each other again?’
‘It’s a terrible situation.’ All he wanted to do was comfort her and make the pain go away. ‘How is he now?’
‘Confused. Sad, sometimes. But he still recognizes me. He knows who I am. He calls me his beautiful wife.’ Martha’s expression changed. ‘And in return I betrayed him.’
‘When I saw you that day on the hill, you looked as if you didn’t have a care in the world,’ said Tony. ‘You seemed so happy. That was what drew me to you.’
‘I was happy.’ She inclined her head in agreement. ‘At first, after Henry went into the home, I was relieved. And every time I felt relieved, I felt guilty. My life had become easier and his hadn’t. I was ashamed of myself, I shouldn’t be happy. But as time went on, the guilt started to fade. For the last couple of months I’ve let myself relax and feel OK about my life. And, I don’t know, sometimes it all just comes together. I was outside on a beautiful summer’s day with the sun on my face. My painting was going well. That dear little boy came along with his ball and he was just adorable, and I suddenly realized I felt completely at peace. It was the most amazing experience, like having a great weight lifted off my shoulders.’ Martha gazed fixedly at the wall. ‘And then you came along, and you were lovely too. It was as if you were part of it.’
So that was why she had wanted to give him the painting. The money aspect had been irrelevant, the fact that he’d loved her work was all that mattered.
‘And the next day was a continuation of that,’ said Tony.
She nodded. ‘I still can’t believe I did it. You were just… so perfect. It was like taking a holiday from being myself. For a few hours I could be somebody else. I felt normal. No, I didn’t, I felt wonderful.’ Fresh tears sprang into her eyes. ‘It was like the best dream ever.’ Her fingernails were digging into the palms of her hands. ‘And then it was over, and I woke up.’
‘But it wasn’t a dream.’
‘I know that. I wish it had been. I was unfaithful to my husband and I hate myself. Which is why you have to leave me alone and not contact me. Because it’s never going to happen again.’
Tony didn’t want to hear her saying this. ‘I don’t think what we did was wrong.’
‘That’s not true. Of course it’s wrong.’ Martha eyed him sadly. ‘You’re just trying to justify it.’
‘But there is a justification.’
‘For better, for worse. That’s what I said when I made my wedding vows.’
‘But that’s not—’
‘Don’t say it.’ Martha held up her hands to stop him. ‘This is my husband we’re talking about. Would you like to ask Eunice if she thinks there’s justification? What do you suppose her opinion would be? She lives just across the street, by the way. That afternoon we came back here, I knew she was away visiting friends in Stockport. Then when you turned up the next day, she was here. She’d come back early. And Eunice isn’t stupid. She doesn’t miss a trick. Which is why you have to go now.’
This was unbearable. Tony said, ‘But I