Midnight Sun (The Twilight Saga #5) - Stephenie Meyer Page 0,135

things weren’t so different for her then. “That’s perhaps setting the bar a little too low.”

She grinned. “You said the lowest setting.”

“Continue, then.”

Her lips twisted to the side as she considered. “A few friends were going to the ice rink with some boys. They needed me to even up the numbers. I wouldn’t have gone if I’d realized that it meant I was matched up with Reed Merchant.” She shuddered delicately. “And of course, I figured out pretty quickly that ice skating was a bad idea. My injuries were minor, but the plus side was that I got to sit by the snack bar and read for the rest of the night.” She smiled, almost… triumphantly.

“Shall we skip to an actual date?”

“You mean like, someone asked me out in advance and then we went someplace alone together?”

“That sounds like a workable definition.”

She smiled the same triumphant smile. “Sorry, then, I’ve got nothing.”

I frowned. “No one ever asked you out on a date before you came here? Really?”

“I’m not totally sure. Is it a date? Is it just friends hanging out?” She shrugged. “Not that it mattered much. I never had time for either. After a while the word gets around, and no one asks again.”

“Were you actually busy? Or making excuses like you do here?”

“Actually busy,” she insisted, a little offended. “Running a house is time-consuming, and I usually had a part-time job, too, not to mention school. If I’m going to get to college, I’m going to need a full-ride scholarship, and—”

“Hold that thought,” I interrupted. “Before we move on to the next subject, I’d like to finish this one. If you hadn’t been so busy, were any of these invitations ones you would have liked to accept?”

She tilted her head to the side. “Not really. I mean, other than just to have a night out. They weren’t particularly interesting boys.”

“And other boys? Who didn’t ask?”

She shook her head, her clear eyes appearing to hide nothing. “I wasn’t paying that much attention.”

My eyes narrowed. “So you never met anyone you wanted?”

She sighed again. “Not in Phoenix.”

We stared at each other for a moment while I processed the fact that, just as she was my first love, according to this I was also her first… infatuation at the very least. This alignment pleased me in some strange way, but also troubled me. Surely this was a warped, unhealthy way for her to begin her romantic life. And then there was the knowledge that she would be both first and last for me. It would not be the same for a human heart.

“I know it’s not my day, but—”

“No, it’s not.”

“C’mon,” she insisted. “I just spilled my entire embarrassing lack-of-dating history.”

I smiled. “Mine is quite similar, actually—minus the ice-skating and trick birthday parties. I haven’t been paying much attention, either.”

She looked like she didn’t quite believe me, but it was true. I’d also had a few offers I’d turned down. Not quite the same kind of offers, I admitted to myself, picturing Tanya’s pouting face.

“Which college would you like to go to?” I asked.

“Um…” She shook her head just slightly, as if to adjust to the new subject. “Well, I used to think ASU was the most practical, because I could live at home. But with Mom moving around now, I guess my field is more open. It will have to be a state school—something reasonable—even with a scholarship. When I first came here… well, I was glad that Charlie doesn’t live close enough to Washington State to make that practical.”

“Are you disparaging our fine state’s Cougars?”

“Nothing against the institution—just the weather.”

“And if you could go anywhere—if the cost were no object—where would you go?”

While she considered my question about this hypothetical future, I tried to picture a future that I could live with. Bella at twenty, at twenty-two, twenty-four… how long before she outgrew me, unchanging as I was? I would accept that time limit if it meant that she could be healthy and human and happy. If only I could make myself safe for her, right for her, make myself fit into that happy picture for every second of the time that she allowed me.

I wondered again how I could make this happen—be with her without negatively impacting her life. Stay in Persephone’s spring, keep her safe from my underworld.

It was easy to see that she wouldn’t be happy in my usual haunts. Obviously. But as long as she wanted me, I would follow her. It would mean many