and in time, I ceased to wonder what might lie behind it.
Reynaldo was as loud as his brother was silent, as bullish and stubborn as Silk was elusive, and although I found him tiresome and tiring I could not help but like his rather thick-headed courage, for I had little boldness in me. He ardently claimed me as his property and declared often that he would marry me when he was grown to manhood. He did not doubt that I shared his desire, so it was fortunate for both of us that he had to spend most of each day with tutors or fencing masters. I did care for him, but I did not love him, and this made me wonder uneasily if I had in me the warmth of heart to love properly. Then, nine months after Mama wed Ernst, she gave birth to a daughter.
2.
‘But Rose is such an ephemeral name,’ Ernst protested. ‘Would it not be prudent to name her Ruby or Adamant, or some such resilient and eternal name?’
A long time later, I remembered those words of his, and wondered if he had some prescient inkling of what was to come.
‘Rose,’ Mama only repeated very firmly. ‘The beauty of a rose lasts forever in the mind, long after the petals have fallen.’
I could tell from Ernst’s expression that he doted on her too much to insist upon having his way. Besides, he must have known by now that there were certain matters upon which Mama would never give way; naming was one of them, as was the wearing of clothes appropriate to each occasion, the placement of furniture and flowers, and the composition of gardens and meals.
Once Ernst had nodded his surrender, Mama bade me sit in the chair so that I might hold my sister. My stepfather looked worried, but Mama said almost pointedly that it was best we bond as soon as may be.
So Ernst brought Rose to me, ignoring Reynaldo’s jealous demand to hold the baby. I looked into Rose’s little flower of a face for the first time. Unlike those of other newborn babies I had seen, it was not red and shrivelled but as soft and pink and delicate as a flower, and the fluff of golden hair atop it made me certain she had inherited our mother’s indestructible beauty. Her cloudy eyes cleared to a pure light blue and seemed to focus on me. I knew babies that young could not see, and that the seeming colour change must be the result of clouds glooming over the sun, but I felt her look as a hand that reached into me and touched my very essence. When she withdrew her gaze, I felt it still. Was that why I loved her so much? I cannot say. I only know that from the beginning I adored her. Reynaldo was fiercely put out by this, and once tipped Rose from her perambulator in a jealous rage. But instead of screaming, she only looked at him with her big blue eyes until he flung his arms about her, begging her to forgive him. After that he became her devoted defender and often argued with me over who should push the perambulator in the garden. I regarded him more affectionately than I had done hitherto, because he shared my worship of my dainty little sister, though his passions were as violent and brief as rainstorms. Even Silk, who came home for one of his brief visits soon after her birth, smiled at Rose and let her be placed in his arms so that he could admire her. I felt a little stab of surprise to see her lift starfish fingers to his face and touch his lips, for I had never seen her do that to anyone but me.
Rose grew to resemble Mama, just as I had guessed she would. But as well as her pink and gold loveliness, she had a nature that was all her own. She was sunny, sweetly generous and utterly open. When Reynaldo wanted something of hers, she let him take it. When he pushed in front of her, she smiled at him and gave way so willingly that it was as if this was her own desire. Later, when she had friends visit, she allowed them to wear all of her clothes and often gave away her favourite toys and garments because she could not bear for anyone to yearn for something that it was in her power to