he hated.
When dusk fell, if he hadn’t prepared by coming to the fountain by dawn in his human form, he’d have to run through the woods back to the castle stark naked.
It was quite undignified.
It wasn’t completely awful, though. He’d made some frog friends. He wasn’t sure if any of them were cursed as he’d been cursed, or if they were natural frogs.
Although, what could really be called natural in a place like Ever After? Nothing, really. Fairy-tale castles, fairy godmothers, dwarves named after beers, birds and mice that liked to sew . . . nope. It was all screwed up.
Phillip was pretty sure he’d learned his lesson after the first week he’d been a frog, but that hadn’t mattered.
He’d kissed everyone in Ever After, trying to break the curse.
Every single creature with lips.
Even his best friend. The one they called the Beast.
He, too, had been a prince once upon a time. His castle had long since been lost to the mist and the Beast, or Hunter, as Phillip liked to call him, since that was his name, lived in the dungeons of Castle Charming.
The sun began to fall below the horizon, and he was grateful when the green mist enveloped him and the world around him grew much smaller, and dryer.
He stretched his limbs as he stepped from the fountain, naked, and . . . and . . . his mouth tasted like he’d licked a caterpillar. He stuck his tongue out and ran it along his teeth and realized with dawning horror that he still had dragonfly wings in his teeth.
“Don’t yark!” Hunter’s voice called from behind some rustling underbrush. “You know it’s worse if you have to taste it again.”
Phillip was sure he wasn’t going to have a choice. A skein of mead was thrust into his hands, and he drank it gratefully, washing away the bits of wing and whatever else might’ve been left over from his day’s adventure.
“Thanks.” He licked his lips and was immediately sorry. He took another long pull of the sweet, crisp honey mead.
Hunter tossed him his clothes. “Hurry up. Pub trivia starts in twenty minutes.”
“I know, I know. I can’t get this out of my mouth. It’s awful.”
“It’s like you haven’t done this before.” Hunter tossed him his bag, which had a toothbrush and toothpaste.
“Honestly, I forgot it was trivia night.” Phillip shrugged.
“I know.” Hunter nodded to his rumpled clothes.
“Whatever. They let you in. And you don’t wear pants.”
Hunter bared his teeth. “Listen, pal. I’d wear pants if I could get them on over my haunches, but I can’t. So loincloth it is.”
“It’s not like you could button them with those claws anyway.” Phillip couldn’t resist the tiny poke at his pantsless friend.
“It ain’t about the button, brother.” Hunter winked at him.
“So, serious question.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on.”
“No. I know what you’re going to ask, and I’m not discussing it with you.”
“Surely you must’ve wondered.”
“Just like half the women in Ever After,” Beast growled.
“Come on. Tell me. Do you know?”
“I’ve already passed the part of my curse where it’s permanent. This is just me. Forever. So, no, I don’t wonder if the curse was broken if my beast will go back to human size, too.”
Phillip cackled. “Man, sucks to be you. No chance of being a prince again and no castle with a big library. The hits just keep coming.”
Hunter narrowed his eyes, and Phillip had to keep from cackling harder. He looked like a very concerned bear/werewolf hybrid with Groucho Marx eyebrows pasted on his forehead.
“Laugh it up, Phillip. But aren’t you concerned that when your spell is broken your manhood might be reduced to frog-hood? Works both ways.”
Phillip’s smile froze in place. He hadn’t actually thought of that.
“Petty would be that . . . well, petty!” Phillip cried.
“Wouldn’t she just?” Hunter teased.
Phillip finished dressing. “Do I smell like pond water?”
Hunter sniffed the air. “No, but there’s some cologne in your bag.”
Phillip rummaged around in the bag some more and pulled out several bottles. “What is this?” He held one up. “Piranha Pride?” He removed the cap and sniffed. “This smells like a turtle tank.”
He found another bottle. Premium Panther. What in the ever-loving hell? He sniffed it. It actually wasn’t awful. He sprayed a bit on himself.
“Better?”
“Yeah, that one’s okay.” Hunter wiggled his massive snout. “Oh, shit. That’s me.” He laughed and took the Premium Panther from Phillip and sprayed under his arms and a little on his chest.
Phillip brushed his teeth and put the grooming products back in the bag.