Who knows what kind of favor he’d ask for in return.
I was about to leave the great room when a large cloth draped over something above the fireplace caught my eye. I double checked that no one was around and pushed the cloth to the side. Beneath the fabric was a portrait of Tanner in a weird Victorian outfit, similar to what he most definitely usually made Nigel wear. Someone loved history a little too much if you asked me. I looked around the room and wondered how much of the covered wall art featured Tanner playing dress up. I let the cloth fall back in place and made my way past the kitchen.
I stopped when I noticed a brown paper bag sitting on the counter with my name on it. Well, I guess if Nigel had already made me a lunch it would just be rude not to take it. I grabbed the bag and headed out the front door.
Nigel was hanging off the side of the weird little footbridge that went from the elevator to Tanner’s apartment door. Nigel had a staple gun and was stapling a tarp over top of the water. He grunted as he tried to maneuver without falling in.
“What are you doing, Nigel?”
“Hiding the…” Nigel started coughing. “Nothing. What are you doing, Mr. Caldwell?” He placed one more staple and then slid back safely onto the bridge. He was completely out of breath, but he quickly wiped off his lederhosen and stood up with a bow.
“Heading to work.” I lifted up the bag lunch.
“Good, good. I’m glad you found your lunch. Please don’t look down.”
“Nigel, I’ve been here before. I know Tanner somehow has water under this bridge.”
“Right. Of course. Just normal everyday water and nothing more. See you tonight, Mr. Caldwell. I’ll have a bath and a snifter of cognac waiting for you upon your arrival.”
If that wasn’t the weirdest sentence I’d ever heard. “That won’t be necessary, Nigel.”
“But you’re Master Tanner’s guest.”
“Just pretend I’m not here.”
“But you’re also Master Tanner’s best friend. Only the best for Master Tanner’s best friend.”
Okay. “I don’t really take baths, but I appreciate the offer.”
“We’ll see if I can change your mind about that tonight. Good day.” He hurried back inside with his staple gun.
Bath references should never sound dirty, but Nigel made it sound absolutely filthy. I sighed and looked down. And I swore I saw the tarp move. I grabbed the railing on the bridge. What the hell? Was there something under there?
Fuck it. I didn’t even want to know what was in that water. It was probably another houseboy dressed in lederhosen ready to jump out and scare me half to death. And I wanted no part in it. I’d had enough weirdness for one morning. I made my way over the footbridge and safely onto the elevator.
I just needed to focus on staying alive and convincing Penny to give me those prototypes. And for Nigel to stop trying to see me naked.
Chapter 24
Tuesday
I hadn’t heard from Penny all day. I’d texted her this morning to see if we were still on for dinner. But she hadn’t responded. I’d texted her again an hour ago asking if she had gotten my first text, and immediately wished I could have unsent it. Obviously she had gotten my other text and was just not responding.
I opened up my bag lunch, very aware of the fact that Tanner had probably made Nigel make it so I wouldn’t leave the office today. Not like that mattered. Poppy had waltzed into MAC International undetected before. Certainly a hitwoman could do the same.
There was a folded note on top of the food:
Mr. Caldwell,
I’m so elated that you’ll be staying with us for the foreseeable future. It is my job to make sure you are comfortable and happy during the duration of your visit. So please let me know if there’s anything you need me to acquire. At your convenience, my number is below and I’ll go out and fetch everything you require today. Or if you need me to get items from your home, I’m happy to do that as well.
Have a good and prosperous day at work. Remember to smile and be kind to others. And use your words not your fists.
Yours,
-Nigel
XOXO
P.S. I hope you like meat!
Gross. Well, the note was gross. The turkey sandwich piled high with lettuce and tomato on rye bread looked excellent. I took a bite and it practically melted in my mouth. What kind