It was the only hopeful sign she had seen.
And at once he said tonelessly, ‘If that’s what you want, then of course.’
Bella said, ‘No, it’s not what I want. How can you think that? Remember what we used to be like?’
She went to him. His hands came out to her for just a moment. Then they fell to his sides and he stepped back.
It was like a slap in the face.
She stood very still for a couple of seconds, mastering herself. Then she said quietly, ‘What has happened to us? Is it something to do with your father? Surely he’s better? He seems terrific.’
The King, alone of the family, seemed to be in tearing spirits. He had lost a stone and a half, started jogging round the Palace grounds, and had thrown himself back into his official engagements with a will. He looked, in fact, like a man who has been on holiday. Unlike his elder son, who looked so fine-drawn, you could see the skull under his skin.
Richard said formally, ‘He is very well indeed. The doctors are very pleased with him.’ He looked at his watch. ‘Now, I’m sorry, I’m overdue at the Cathedral. The Prior is talking about a rehearsal but I’m saying it’s too soon.’
And he was gone before Beth could stop him.
It was only afterwards that she thought, he is going to the Cathedral? Without me? What is going on?
Of course, it was probably because of the paparazzi. The tell-tale photographs had come from cellphones and the newspapers had tweaked and enhanced them in-house. But the paparazzi didn’t find her boring any more. Whenever she stepped outside, they homed in on her like wasps round a jam jar.
‘Do they think I’m going to throw myself into the arms of some passing hunk?’ she asked Lottie irritably, having run the gauntlet of their cameras in order to have her hair done by Carlos, followed by supper with her friend. ‘What do they think I am?’
‘Desperate,’ said Lottie frankly.
‘What?’
‘That’s how you look. Tense and haggard, as if you hadn’t slept for a month. And you’re losing weight again, too. Have you been dieting after that silly photo?’
‘What? No. What are you talking about?’
Lottie blushed and apologised. ‘I was thinking of that photo the mad person put up on their blog. Loyal Subject or whatever they call themselves. It was you standing on the cliff, when the boys were doing their Viking thing. There must have been a stiff breeze because you’re leaning backwards but it blows the front of your waterproof out, as if you’ve got a bit of a tummy. A few of the nastier bloggers were calling you podgy.’
Bella shrugged. ‘I didn’t see it. I don’t look at the internet much. The Press guys send printouts to Trudy, but she says it’s just depressing how badly written it all is. So I don’t see it.’
‘Oh, well, good. So you’re not dieting to look like a skeleton? It just happened?’
Bella flushed. ‘I know. I’ll do better. But it’s almost like being in prison, Lotts. They want me to work at home, too. Well, I can do that. Project evaluation is a solitary activity. I don’t have to go into the city to sit at a desk and do it. But I liked the desk and the office and going round the corner to meet Ma at the pub for lunch.’
Lottie made sympathetic noises. She said she couldn’t envisage a life in which you couldn’t go round the corner to the pub.
Bella smiled, but her smile swiftly died. ‘Everywhere I go I have a palace minder in case I get drunk and fall over and a security officer in case somebody else does. I said I wanted to buy some new knickers and they asked Marks and Spencer to stay open ’specially for me.’
‘I’m impressed.’
‘Don’t be. A great shop like that, with nobody but me and a few Palace watchers in it. Creeped me out.’
Lottie said awkwardly, ‘Bel, do you think – could they be trying to scare you off? Freak you out by showing you what it’s going to be like being Mrs Richard?’
Bella nodded slowly. ‘I thought of that. But I don’t see the point. I told him we could break it off and …’ She drew a long breath. ‘He didn’t want to. He looked horrified. No, the one thing I’m absolutely certain of is that he still wants to marry me, Lotts.’
But, in her heart, she wasn’t certain at all.
24
‘Good to Go!’ –