The Man I Thought I Trusted - E. L. Todd Page 0,39
His hands came together on the surface like he was in a meeting and I was a difficult client. “Because I don’t know how else to handle this, and you seem to respond to bluntness.”
“Okay…” We were happy, like, two seconds ago, and now it was tense.
“I want to ask you to marry me.” He stared at me with that hard look, his statement aggressive rather than romantic.
I stopped breathing because I couldn’t believe what he’d said, right in the middle of Mega Shake.
“But I can’t do that if your professional focus continues. I want to do whatever is necessary to make you happy, but I’ll never be happy knowing you’re sticking your neck out like this every single day, that you’ve got a target on your back everywhere you go, that you’re in the top ten most dangerous professions in the world. I just can’t.”
I didn’t expect him to dump that on me like this.
“Charlie told me to keep my mouth shut and just be happy right now, but I can’t. Because I want to be happy forever, not just now. When I said I wanted you to be my wife, I meant it. This isn’t just a relationship to me. I can’t have my wife putting herself in danger, not when I love her more than anything. And I want kids with you. We haven’t talked about this and I know it’s premature, but I really want that. So…”
I dropped my gaze, my heart beating so hard. “You’re dumping me…”
“No.” His quiet voice had a hurt tone.
I looked at him again.
“I’m telling you that I want to marry you, and if I ask…would you be willing to make this compromise? I don’t care if you’re a workaholic and you want to remain devoted to a career. I can take a step back at work and take care of the kids so you can pursue your dream. That’s not a problem. I will support whatever you want to do, and we’ll make it work. But…it can’t be dangerous like this. There are lots of other respectable kinds of journalism you can do that aren’t dangerous. Is this something you’re willing to do…to be with me?”
He’d unloaded the heaviest question I’d ever been asked. Normally, my answer would be an instinctual no, and I would walk out of there without looking back. But I really loved this man, and I didn’t want to lose the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.
He waited for me to give him an answer, his features tight like he anticipated I would say no.
“Can I think about it…?”
His eyebrows immediately rose, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. His hands tightened together on the table as he tensed. “Yes. Take all the time you need.”
We sat there together and stared at each other, the sound of the cooks in the background, our food getting cold on the table.
His watch clanked against the table when he moved his wrist. “I expected you to just say no.”
“That sounds like an answer I would give.”
His eyes turned soft again, the affection returning. “Just the fact that you’re willing to think about it…means a lot to me.”
Charlie stood at the kitchen counter, the hot pan sizzling as he prepared dinner. He must have heard me walk inside because he said, “Chicken kebabs.”
“Already ate.” I dropped my bag on the table and pulled out the paperwork I had secured that afternoon.
“What did you have?” He turned around to look at me.
“Mega Shake.”
“And you didn’t bring me anything?”
“I know you don’t eat shit all the time like I do, so I assumed you would pass.” I took a seat and pulled out my laptop so I could get back to work. Whenever I was down, that was what I usually did, threw myself into work.
Charlie stared at me for another minute before he turned back to the stove and finished cooking.
I looked through the paperwork and made my notes.
Charlie carried his dinner to the spot across from me and took a seat. “You seem down.”
“Just a little…overwhelmed.” Dax had just dropped a ton of bricks on my shoulders, and I hadn’t recovered from the event.
He glanced at my paperwork as he took a bite and chewed. “I told you to hand it back to Vince if it was too much for you—”
“That’s not the problem.” I set my paperwork down and looked at him. “Dax told me he wanted to ask me to marry him.”