encompass the entirety of what I feel for you. This cannot be the end for us. I will not accept that it was all a mistake, or that our future cannot be as bright and beautiful as we imagined in those quiet moments yesterday morning. For now, I can only beg you to understand that I never wanted to cause you pain. Know that I love you with every breath in my body and will never cease.
Yours eternally,
Nick
Calliope closed her eyes and lowered her head, the paper crumpling against her lips. She pressed a kiss to his words, allowing herself a short time to soak in his declaration of love. Before it could settle too deeply, piercing the walls she’d begun erecting around her ravaged and bleeding heart, she lowered the note and pushed it all away. The letter fluttered to the floor and she stepped over it.
She wouldn’t send for him when she returned to London. It was best she kept her distance, for she would never be able to resist him if they came face to face. The next time he saw her, she would be completely out of his reach. She intended to make sure of that right now—not because she wanted to hurt him, but because she knew it was the only way to keep herself from forgetting the insurmountable reasons she should keep away.
The house was quiet as she made her way downstairs; the guests were at breakfast by now.
She found Martin standing near a window in the study. He turned when he heard her enter. There was no charming smile for her today, no spark of interest or desire in his eyes, no honeyed words. She wanted none, but could not help but realize that this, too, was her fault. She’d veered off her path and nearly destroyed her best chance for a secure future.
“Good morning,” he said, hands clasped behind his back. “Thank you for seeing me. I understand why you might wish for solitude right now, but this will only take a moment.”
“I hope you know I did not intend to avoid you forever. I simply needed time, but I’m here now and am certain you have a number of things you wish to say to me.”
He frowned, coming toward her as his hands fell at his sides. He seemed to think better of it and halted, his eyes darting to the open door. Her reputation was already in tatters, and another scandal could be stoked with only the whiff of impropriety.
“There has been talk. It won’t be long before all of society knows about your … indiscretion with Mr. Burke.”
She winced. An indiscretion. A mistake, she had called it, hating herself for the way it had affected Nick, his face portraying the hurt it had inflicted.
“I understand if this has changed your opinion of me. I can do nothing but offer my sincerest regrets for having involved you in any of it.”
“I am willing to forgive you and forget it ever happened, if you can assure me that it is over. I understand that sometimes a woman can become confused, and her judgment clouded as a result. I cannot fault you for it, when I know Mr. Burke to be a man without scruples.”
The words to defend Dominick rose up in her throat, but she swallowed them down. “It is over, and I have no intention of repeating such an error.”
Martin pinched his lips, avoiding her gaze. “There is something else I must ask you, but I don’t wish to embarrass you further.”
Her stomach twisted as she gathered his meaning, her palms breaking out in a sweat. Of course, he wanted to know if she had done the unforgivable and surrendered her virtue.
Raising her chin, she stared right at him and told the truth. There was no use hiding it, as he would know for himself once they arrived at their wedding night.
“I have lain with him.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked, but he refused to look at her, tension radiating from him with accusing force. “I see. Well, I must inform you that I am not coming into this marriage a virgin, either, so I suppose I cannot condemn you.”
Her head jerked back in surprise, but she remained silent, waiting for him to continue. It was obvious he had more to say. His gaze finally met hers, and despite his declaration, his eyes radiated betrayal and disappointment.
“As you know, I have need of a bride with a large dowry or