down onto it. “My entire life, my emotions have been the one thing I can rely on. The one fucking thing I can control. They have been off like a switch I just flicked. My father taught me to let it go. Don’t allow anyone in. That way, no one can hurt you. Everyone is fucking equal, so no one can make you feel anything more than anyone else. No one can make you feel any-fucking-thing.”
Nycto sits back in his chair and tilts his head. “I get that. I do… I mean, it’s why we named you Void, man. You’ve been closed off to everything. So, what’s going on right now? What’s happening in your head?”
I lean forward, my elbows on the table and scrub at my face. Letting out a groan of frustration, I exhale. “Ivy… I don’t… she… fuck!”
“She’s making you feel. Breaking down the walls, you spent you’re entire life building.”
Leaning back, my tired eyes meet his, and I nod once. “I don’t know how to deal with this fucking shit. She means abso-fucking-lutely everything, and that doesn’t… I mean, it’s not who I am.”
Nycto shrugs. “Well then, who are you, Void?”
“What do you seek?” I asked the new disciple.
“Enlightenment,” she replied. Her white dress was saturated in the blood of the other farm members before her. The ritual had gone smoothly. All that was left was to officially initiate her into the family.
This was my job.
Even though I was young, my father was teaching me the ways—the path to enlightenment.
My hands moved in, gripping onto her semi-white dress, ripping it open and pulling it dramatically from her body. Her nakedness underneath was a sight to behold. The blood from the disciples covered her flesh, and all that did was make me hard.
I was a sick bastard.
But this was the way.
The way of the farm.
Her fresh branding only made her more attractive. She would forever be a part of us now.
The farm.
The family.
With my ram’s head still firmly in place, I signaled to the two disciples ranked below me to start the proceedings.
They grabbed her—I don’t even remember her name.
There were so many before her, but she was my last. The one forever engrained into my memory. Her rose tattoo that took up most of her left hip was dripping in blood as my disciples pulled her back against the wooden cross.
She was ready to take her initiation into the farm.
Here she would be welcomed by the men.
All of us.
They chained her to the cross as she panted with bated breath.
She was willing—I was able.
My breathing was rushed beneath my ram’s mask as I slid down my white pants, now wet from the water ceremony. I was first in line—it was an honor my father bestowed upon me for the first time. He was prepping me to take over from him as one of the leaders of the farm.
And I was prepared.
I was honored.
This was my calling.
I stepped up to her, my father by my side. Her eyes looked right at me, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was staring at the mask—the symbol of the ram.
“Take her, son. But remember, emotion is useless. So, do whatever you need to. This is her initiation, and to be a part of the farm, she needs to take whatever is thrown her way.”
I nodded, stepped up to her with a smile on my face and eagerness in the pit of my stomach. I spread her legs, my cock ready and waiting for her as my hands snapped out, wrapping around her throat, harshly gripping as tight as I could, then I...
“Void?”
Bringing me back from my nightmare past, I reply, “I’m a fucking asshole, that’s who I am. I’ve done shit, Nycto, bad shit. How can I ever be the man Ivy needs?”
Nycto exhales. “Void, if you’re mind’s going back to who you were at that farm… you’re not that guy anymore. You aren’t the man your father tried to turn you into. You’ve grown. Hell, if you’re feeling something for Ivy, doesn’t that prove it to you?”
I hesitate as I place my head in my hands. “Dash is trying to make a move on her.”
Nycto chuckles, then he exhales. “She only has eyes for you, Void. If you let your newfound emotions get in the way of that, you’re gonna fuck it up with her.”
“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing for fuck’s sake. I don’t know how to handle this shit. I don’t fucking like it.”
Nycto