don’t know if I want to keep doing the same thing over and over again.”
I wished I could do something about it. I wanted to give her the kind of life she could live without feeling obligated to do something else.
When I’d come to the States, I’d been resigned to living my life in the mountains, away from everyone, until I died. Why not? I had no reason to re-join society. But now, with Angela here, I was starting to wonder. Would it really be that bad to live close to people again? Would it really be so terrible to have a normal life? I wasn’t the man I’d once been. I could be someone Angela might want to be with. Someone who made an honest living, someone who could be trusted and respected.
I could be someone other than who I’d been before. For her.
I didn’t want her to be with a monster. She deserved so much more. But she didn’t know who I was. She had no idea what had happened in my past. What if I closed the door on that, and never opened it again?
Maybe, just maybe, someone like me could have a second chance.
“What are you thinking about?” Angela asked.
I shook my head and popped the last of my bacon into my mouth. “Nothing important.”
“One day, when I ask you something, you’ll give me a different answer than nothing.”
I smiled at her. “You’re saying one day as if there will be more time for us to be together.”
She shrugged, but I could see she was struggling with her decision to go.
What if one day could be today? What if it could be the rest of my life?
Angela
When I woke up, it was still early. The morning light had a silver quality to it, the way it looked when the dawn had just broken. I turned onto my side and found Viktor next to me in bed. It had been days since I’d woken up with him next to me.
I studied his features while he slept. Even in sleep, he looked worried. His brows were knitted together, his lips pursed into a line. He hadn’t been sleeping very well. He was worried about something, but I had no idea what it was. And he wouldn’t tell me.
I was going to let him sleep. The poor man needed it. He had to be exhausted.
Today was my last day here. I was supposed to go back home soon if I wanted to carry out my plans of moving to Chicago. I needed to pack, wrap things up with Ryan at the office, say goodbye to my mom. I was leaving everything to the last minute, that was for sure.
I just couldn’t bring myself to leave Viktor behind, to leave this fairy tale I’d been living in. But all good things come to an end, right?
Was there some way I could do it differently? As I watched Viktor, his hands balled in fists around the sheets, twisted as if he was wrestling with something, I tried to figure out if there was something that could be done. Whatever was happening between Viktor and me wasn’t just a fling. I was serious about it. And with the way he’d told me he wanted me to stay… he sure as hell didn’t think I was just a quick fuck, either.
I just didn’t know how I would be able to pull it off. I was going to Chicago to create a new life, something better than what we’d had here. Better than what my mom had. I hadn’t really thought about whether it was what I wanted. Until Viktor had pointed out that I was doing it for her, not for me. I’d argued with him, telling him that it was for me, too.
But what if I wanted to stay? What if I wanted to live my life here, in a small town with a rugged man like Viktor by my side? Hell, living up here in the mountains even sounded like a great idea.
What about my mom and her plans and her dreams? She would be so very disappointed if I told her I was giving up a good job, if I gave up the sort of life she’d always wanted for me, to live in a cabin in the woods, removed from everyone and everything.
It was what I wanted, though. I wanted it more and more.
My mind ran in circles, and I struggled to think straight. The cabin started feeling smaller