to who I was before Luther and Greece and violation. I want peace. Normalcy. And more than anything, I want to be whole.
Sarah meets my gaze from over his shoulder, her lips tweaked in conniving satisfaction. “She’s a hassle you don’t need.”
The truth hurts. But there’s confusion, too.
Sarah is enjoying this, and I don’t know why.
“Shut it,” Luca growls, his eyes softening in my direction. “Tell me the truth, shorty. Do you want to get out of here?”
Sarah’s smirk grows as she winks at me.
Winks. At. Me.
I struggle to understand the taunt. Then, like a light bulb, my awareness switches on to expose the meaning behind her tactics.
She’s created this drama in an attempt to prove me wrong about the burden I’ve placed on his shoulders. She doesn’t want to take me away. She wants me to feel at home.
“Penny?” Luca takes another step.
“I don’t know.” I swallow, wrapping my arms around my middle. “I don’t know what I want.”
The corners of his mouth lift in a sad smile. His head inclines the slightest inch in acknowledgement. Then he turns to Sarah, his height increasing as he straightens. “You did this. You messed with her fucking head. You made her question being here.”
“Me?” She places a hand to her chest, her eyes wide with feigned offense. “Why would I do that?”
“Get the fuck out.” He stalks for the bedroom door, jabbing a finger toward the hall. “And don’t come back. I’ve had enough of your bullshit. Everyone knows I’ll protect her with my life. I’m done trying to prove it.”
Sarah remains in place, her attention on me, one brow raised as if to say, ‘I told you so.’
I guess she did.
I knew Luca would be kind enough to deny wanting me to leave. I never imagined he’d be passionate about me staying. Or furious at anyone attempting to take me away.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” she drawls. “You don’t have to stay under this psycho’s roof.”
“Get. The fuck. Out,” he snarls. “Now.”
She rolls her eyes and gives another wink. “Okay. Okay. I’m leaving.”
9
Luca
I lead Sarah to the front door, waiting until she’s got one foot outside before I slam it on her ass, then lock the deadbolt while she mouths off.
I’m angry. Unjustifiably livid. And entirely fucking blindsided.
One minute, I thought she was helping. The next, she was attempting to steal Penny away.
I lean against the door, my head hung, a pulse ticking beneath my left eye.
Maybe if I hadn’t interrupted when I did, Sarah would’ve been successful. It’s not like she doesn’t have a point about being better equipped to look after a woman. I don’t know how to be the person Penny needs. But I’ll be damned if I trust someone else to protect her.
There’s no way in hell.
If she leaves, I’ll follow.
I shove from the door, needing to get back to her. To stop her from questioning our sanctuary.
She’s still standing near the window in her bedroom, her arms around her middle. Every muscle is pulled taut. Despite her stiffness, sorrow seeps from her. Her heartache escapes with every breath even though there are no tears.
She continues to trap her emotions inside. Caging them.
It’s time to break them free.
“I’m sorry.” I’m drawn to her side, my fingers itching to touch. “I know I keep sayin’ that, but I’ve got nothing else.”
She doesn’t move. Doesn’t react.
“You’re going to get through this.” I reach for her, stealing the physical connection I crave, my palm sweeping over her shoulder. “I’ll get you all the help you need.”
“Please don’t.” She flinches away. “I just want to be left alone.”
No.
No more isolation. No more hiding from grief.
My limbs throb with the urge to grab her. Shake her.
She needs to let go. To cry. Not only for Abi, but the parts of her own life that died. Why can’t she see that?
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I calmly demand.
“That it’s not true. That Abi didn’t kill herself.”
“How do you know?”
“I spoke to my sisters and they agree.” She turns to me, her eyes filled with conviction. “They said she’d never do this. That she was excited to get back to her family.”
“Okay. So maybe her death was an accident.” I reach for her again, her violent shrug away stinging my pride. “But she’s gone, shorty. That part you can’t deny.”
She winces. “Don’t.”
“I know you loved her. You two went through hell together. She was everything to you, which means there’s no way you can get around grieving for her. No