two clips of hollow tips on the belt. He Page 103
J R Ward: Lover Awakened
slipped a throwing knife into a buckle at the small of his back and made sure he had some hira shuriken with him. Shitkickers were next. Light windbreaker to cover the portable arsenal was last.
When he came out, Bella was still looking up at him from the bed. Her eyes were so blue. Blue as sapphires.
Blue as night. Blue as-
"Zsadist?"
He fought the urge to smack himself. "Yeah?"
"Am I ugly to you?" As he recoiled, she put her hands over her face. "Never mind."
While she hid from him, he thought of the very first moment he'd seen her, back when she'd surprised him in the gym so many weeks ago. She'd astounded him then, struck him dead-stupid in his boots, and she still had that effect on his brain. It was like he had an off switch that only she had the remote to.
He cleared his throat. "You are as you have always been to me."
He turned away, only to hear a sob. Then another. And another.
He looked over his shoulder. "Bella... holy hell..."
"I'm sorry," she said into her palms. "I'm s-sorry. Just go. I'm f-fine... I'm sorry, I'm fine."
As he went over and sat on the edge of the bed, he wished he had the gift of words. "You've got nothing to be sorry for."
"I've invaded your room, your b-bed. Forced you to sleep next me. M-made you give me your vein. I'm so...
sorry." She took a deep breath and collected herself, but even still her despair lingered, carrying the earthy scent of raindrops on a hot sidewalk. "I know I should leave here, I know you don't want me here, but I just need... I can't go to my farmhouse. The lesser took me from there, so I can't stand the idea of going back. And I don't want to be with my family. They won't understand what's going on for me right now, and I don't have the energy to explain. I just need some time, I need some way to get what is in my head out of it, but I can't be alone. Even though I don't want to see anyone except..."
As she petered out, he said, "You stay here for as long as you want."
She started sobbing again. Damn it. That was the wrong thing to say.
"Bella... I..." What was he supposed to do?
Reach out to her, asshole. Take her hand, you piece of shit.
He couldn't do it. "You want me to move out? Give you some space?"
More crying, somewhere in the middle of which she mumbled, "I need you."
God, if he'd heard that right, he pitied her.
"Bella, stop crying. Stop crying and look at me." Eventually she took a deep breath and wiped her face. When he was sure he had her attention, he said, "You don't worry about anything. You're staying here as long as you Page 104
J R Ward: Lover Awakened
want to. Are we clear?"
She just stared at him.
"Nod for me, so I know you heard that." When she did, he stood up. "And I'm the last thing you need. So you just drop that bullshit right now."
"But I-"
He headed for the door. "I'll be back before dawn. Fritz knows how to find me-er, all of us."
After leaving her, Z strode down the corridor of statues, hung a louie, and shot past Wrath's study and the grand staircase. Three doors down he knocked. No answer. He knocked again.
He headed downstairs and found what he was looking for in the kitchen.
Mary, Rhage's female, was peeling potatoes. A lot of potatoes. Like, an army load of them. Her gray eyes lifted and her paring knife stilled on an Idaho golden. She glanced around, as if figuring he must be looking for someone else. Or maybe she just hoped she wasn't alone with him.
"Could you put this off for a while?" Z said, nodding at the pile.
"Um, sure. Rhage can always eat something else. Besides, Fritz is having a conniption that I was going to cook, anyway. What... ah, what do you need?"
"Not me. Bella. She could use a friend right now."
Mary put the knife and the half-naked potato down. "I'm so anxious to see her."
"She's in my room." Z pivoted around, already thinking about which alleys to hit downtown.
"Zsadist?"
He stopped with his hand on the butler's door. "What."
"You're taking very good care of her."
He thought of the blood he'd let her swallow. And the urge he had to orgasm in