unannounced again.” He takes a step back into the house. “I don’t want to have this conversation a second time.”
He huffs and looks at me, still somewhat in his line of sight and I simply shrug as if to say ‘Sorry not sorry.’
He turns and heads back to his car just as Dominic closes the door. “That the guy you mess around with?”
“Why? Are you jealous? I have to admit I enjoyed this little show.” I place my hands on my hips and cock my head to the side.
“I don’t like that he’s bothering you,” he responds. Yeah, bullshit.
“You don’t like that he’s bothering me? Or that he’s the only other man that knows what my cunt tastes like?”
His nostrils flare and he takes a step closer to me. “Both.”
“Hmmm.” I wasn’t expecting that response. He’d been careful not to even get too close to me, let alone reference anything from that weekend, but I guess jealousy can make you do some crazy things. “Well, as I said, that ship has sailed. I don’t want him. I ended things that night you picked me up from his house.”
“That’s whose house you went to that night?” he growls and takes another step closer to me so that’s he’s towering over me. “Did you let him touch you that night? Did you let him touch you and then you called me to come and make it better?”
Oh, this is good. I could make this work in my favor. “No, caveman. He wanted to fuck me and I said no. I didn’t want to have sex with him. We’ve talked about this.” I turn away and begin walking towards the kitchen knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I’ve got Dominic on the hook for this conversation.
“You’ve never really said why though,” he says as he follows close behind me.
“Because I thought my first time should be special. With someone I trust and someone who loves me.” I turn around and look up into his eyes. “Someone that would make me feel cherished and hold my hand through a really important thing.”
“Did I…you felt those things about me?” I’m surprised he has to ask but perhaps he’s still feeling particularly green with jealousy having met the only other man I’ve messed around with.
“Of course.”
He presses a hand to his face and drops to a chair in the dining room. “And then I was a dick to you.”
“You weren’t a dick. You’re freaked out. Although, I’ll admit it hurt when you said I didn’t have a moral compass. Is that what you think of me?” Those words have been playing in my mind on a loop. Does he judge me for coming onto him? For propositioning him in the first place? Does he think I’m a shitty daughter?
I am a shitty daughter, but the thought of him thinking that makes me feel lower than dirt.
“Not at all. I lashed out and said stupid shit I thought about myself.”
“I don’t think sleeping with me means you’re a bad person.” I sit down across from him.
“I think it makes me a bad person that I want it again,” he tells me and I can see the war he’s at with himself all over his face.
“I definitely want it again, if that makes a difference.” I bite down on my bottom lip and give him a small smile.
He smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’re so young, I should have known better. A woman always feels super connected to the man she loses her virginity to. Forever. It’s a bond that can never be severed and you were already connected to me so deeply.” He slams a hand down and begins to pace the kitchen. “I’m not even done grieving your mom.”
Hearing him talk about her is like a punch in the gut. I know he was married to her. I know he misses her. But now I’m starting to worry I’m living in the shadow of her memory.
“Did you fuck me to try and feel closer to her?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. I’m terrified to hear the answer but I have to know if he wanted me for me. Or because I look like a younger version of the woman he married.
“You’re nothing like your mother, Stassi.”
“I don’t think that makes me feel better considering you were in love with her. If I’m so different, what is it you love about me?”
“Everything,” he tells me.