orientation week, and I missed the memo because I’m just that fucking oblivious. Bram, this whole time, I really thought they were straight-bro BFFs. I’m literally that woman Marjorie from the train station (“I just have to say, it’s so refreshing when young men are willing to be affectionate with their friends!”). I should just turn in my gay card. I don’t even deserve to drink iced coffee at this point.
Oh god, this email is like a whole ass novel. I’m sorry!!! I just miss you so much, honey. Babe. Sweetie. Oh my god, I legit can’t pull ANY of these off with a straight face. Are we just never going to have pet names? Darling??? I kind of love that one. It gives me Monty and Percy vibes (though truly, what does Percy see in that hot mess of a boy?). So, darling, I hope you and Garrett are having a most excellent Halloweekend. More pictures, please!!! I love you so much, Brammy Bram. Come back to Philly ASAP, okay, so we can show Marjorie something REALLY refreshing.
Love,
Simon, Ballerina Edition
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: OCT 29 AT 11:29 AM
SUBJECT: RE: THIS NIGHT
Dear Jacques,
Hi, darling. ☺ I very much hope you’re still sleeping. So I can’t decide if your email completely charmed me or completely wrecked me. Maybe both. The problem, Simon, is that drunk you sounds just like sleepy you, and thinking about sleepy Simon Spier is kind of a gut punch right now. Have I mentioned how much I miss your head on my pillow? I miss it the most. Especially the part where you keep nodding off while talking (which is, by the way, the exact energy of your email). Anyway, the point is, I’m hopelessly in love with my drunk mess of a boyfriend.
(For what it’s worth, I think I know what Percy Newton sees in Henry Montague.)
Thank you very much for the thirsty emoji (both of your sisters did indeed “heart” it, as did your mom, of course). Last night was . . . fine? Don’t get me wrong, it was a good haunted house. It just might have been a little too good (confession: I don’t really see the point of haunted houses if I can’t leave halfway through and make out with you in the back of Nick’s car). Garrett loved it, though. He’s still passed out, but I’m waking him up in a minute, since he has to get to LaGuardia by three. It was actually really awesome having him here. He caught me up on everything happening at Tech (except Morgan, because he’s still insisting nothing happened. Still!). Overall, he seems happy. It does sound like he might be having trouble keeping up with the workload (I’m not sure running away to New York for the weekend was the solution to that particular problem, but I’m trying to quiet my inner nerd and let our angel bro live).
Oh, I’m so glad you finally got to have your College Feeling. I’m actually a little choked up over the thought of you in a tutu (wouldn’t your kid self be proud?). It just made me really happy, in the same way your rainbow shoelaces make me happy. I love watching you try on this part of yourself. You don’t have to give up a single day of iced coffee, Simon, I promise.
Tell Kellan I say thank you for the recommendation! I can save it for when you’re here in December, if you want. I’m really glad to hear about him and Grover! I kind of suspected it when Kellan stayed in Grover’s room that whole weekend (also, you realize Kellan has a framed picture of Harvey Milk on his desk, right?). So maybe you have a touch of Marjorie in you, but don’t we all? I’m not exactly batting a thousand on this stuff either (see also: prom night).
Anyway, I love you. And I miss every edition of you. Text me when you’re up, okay?
Love,
Blue
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: NOV 5 AT 10:18 AM
SUBJECT: HELLO, I’M A GENIUS
This just in: I, Abby Suso, have officially figured out the solution to boredom itself. Right now, I’m in Analytic Geometry and Calculus (it’s just as enthralling as it sounds), but the point is: I’m emailing you!! From Analytic Geometry and Calculus!! So, here’s the trick:
Open up a Word doc.
Title it “Anal GC” (god, I love abbreviations).
Minimize it into a horizontal bar with the title showing, loud and proud.
Open up a “compose email” window and slide that lil dude right