listen to Travis. I stop talking and drag my exhausted, freaked-out ass out of the van and into the house where I wait, just inside the door, and watch as he backs his van out of the driveway and rolls away.
Chapter Eleven
When I call Travis the next day, George picks up the phone and tells me he isn’t home, he ran out to Sam Ash, and shit, Travis never goes to Sam Ash without calling me to see if I need something or if I want to take a ride. I leave a message for him to call me, but then I just sit next to the phone. Five minutes later I call again.
“What’s wrong, Emmy?” George says when he answers.
“Did Travis tell you what happened last night?”
“He hasn’t said much at all today, but he’s being a real prick so I figured something is up.”
“I told him he should go out with Millie.”
“Oh?” George says, his voice full of bewildered judgment. “What the fuck for?”
“Because, you know, look at what happened to Circle Time. They were well on their way to a deal with spinART, too.”
“It’s a shame, yeah, but what does that have to do with Trap and Millie?”
“It’s very simple,” I explain. “If Travis hooks up with Millie, I won’t be able to hook up with him, and then we won’t fuck up the band.”
“Ah, I see,” George says. “You’ve got a real cock-up on your hands, right?”
“Right.”
“But for argument’s sake, let’s just say Travis does go out with Millie. Won’t that bother you? And wouldn’t that fuck with the band?”
“I won’t like it, but I’ll just have to deal with it.”
“You know he’s not going to hook up with Millie,” George says. “You’re nuts if you think he’d do that.”
“I know. That’s why you need to talk him into it.”
“Come on, Em. You know Travis better than that. He’s not going to rebound you with Millie Vagaboss. He’s not that big of a dick.”
“Maybe someone else, then, it doesn’t have to be Millie. Maybe one of the rugby girls?”
“You’re insane.”
“No, I’m not. Just tell him it’s like getting your wisdom teeth pulled. It’s painful but ultimately it leads to something not fucked up, right? Travis can understand that, especially if it comes from you and not me.”
“Let me give you some advice,” George says. “If you don’t want to be his girlfriend, then just give him some time to get over it. He will, eventually. He’s a big boy.”
“He never asked me to be his girlfriend, you know.”
“I know,” he says. “Because you would have said no.”
“That’s right.”
“So, if you want to save the band, give him a chance to save face, all right? Give him space.”
This sounds like really good advice and I should probably take it. I should wait until rehearsal this week to talk to him again so I can give him time to cool off. I probably shouldn’t call him.
But fuck that, I call him back again at around dinnertime. He finally picks up the phone when I’m in the middle of leaving a rambling message on his machine. It probably sounds so crazy and painful to him he can’t stand to keep listening to it.
“What’s up?” he says, very bored sounding, but he can’t be bored, so he’s obviously still really pissed off.
“Are you going out to the soccer party on Baldwin tonight?” I ask. “Crown the Robin are playing with the Holy Hobbies. I think the beat brothers are going.”
“No, I’m not going out tonight,” he says.
“Are you actively avoiding me?” I ask.
“Yes,” he answers.
“Why?”
“Because you keep pissing me off,” he says. “And I don’t like being pissed off at you.”
“You never used to get pissed off at me before,” I point out. “See? That’s exactly why—”
“That’s not true,” he cuts me off. “I’ve gotten pissed off at you plenty of times.”
“When?”
“What did you call for?” he asks. “Because I’m about to get pissed off all over again.”
“God, now you’re acting just like an ex-boyfriend.”
He’s quiet on the other end. For a long time.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean that. Bean?”
“I have to go,” he says.
“Wait,” I say, as that tight, panicky feeling grips me by the throat again.
But he doesn’t.
***
I sit in my room and play my guitar all the rest of the day and well into the night. It occupies me enough that I don’t call and bug Travis again, but it doesn’t really make me feel any better. Playing guitar alone makes me sad that Travis