Rose walks over to the baby bed and starts rolling it towards the door. "I just need you to know something." She blocks the door as she stares at me in the eyes. She looks worn and tired with Easton's hoodie on and a pair of leggings. I can't imagine I look much better, but she looks so unlike Rose that I feel bad for her. I haven't realized what an ordeal this must have been for her, too. Watching two of her closest friends bleed out in front of her. By the way she handles the baby, I'm assuming she's been taking care of him since he's been born.
I wonder how Easton is doing, and if he's in as rough of shape as she is.
"Cara, are you listening?" She snaps at me. I break out of my thoughts and lift my arms, gesturing for a hug.
"I love you." I sniffle. She tears up as she walks towards me, and I tuck my head into her shoulder. "I wouldn't be able to do any of this without you." She mumbles I love you, too as we squeeze each other.
A few moments later, she kisses me on the cheek and stands up, wiping her wet face and smiling at me. "What I wanted to say is that you should be prepared. Jackson doesn't look well. He's strapped up to a ton of machines and it looks kind of scary. That… and…" She wipes her eyes again, trying to hold in her cry.
"What is it?" Her figure turns blurry as I imagine the worst, again.
"He's not speaking. Not to me, not to Easton, not to the doctors. No one. He sits there silently as the doctors tell him he'll never walk again. In the beginning they even put him on a seventy-two hour hold in the psych ward. Easton got him out of there before he could get placed there permanently. He's back to his hospital room, but Cara, he's not well."
I think of Jackson, and how much our relationship has evolved over the last year. Since the moment we first slept together to every moment in between. It's been a rough ride for us, but each time we’ve been together has slowly brought us closer together. We made it official, but does he even want to be with me anymore?
I want to. I think about everything he's been through in life and how he's come out of his shell. With me. Not with anyone else, but slowly he's been able to talk to me about his past. He told me about his sister, something I'm sure he hasn't told anyone about. He trusted me with his darkest secrets, and I think it was then that I realized…
I love him.
Whether he's broken or not, I'll love him. We'll get through whatever it is, as long as we do it together.
I look up at Rose and nod. I'm not positive I'll be able to speak quite yet without bursting out a sob, but I'm hoping I keep myself together when I see Jackson. The last thing I'm sure he wants is for me to start sobbing over him. Shit, I think he'd kick my ass out of the hospital.
The nurse helps me into a wheelchair and pushes me out of the room. Rose trails beside me as she pushes the little guy. I look at him, watching him sleep. Is he ever awake? I haven't heard him cry once.
"How is he? Does he cry a lot? Is he a good baby?" I ask Rose.
She smiles at me. "He's perfect. He barely cries at all. And when he does, the nurse brings him a bottle and it quiets him down right away."
That reminds me. "Shouldn't I be like, breastfeeding or something?"
Her eyes widen. "I mean, sure. We had no option, but I'm sure the nurses would be able to help you out if it's something you wanted to do." Rose looks behind me at the nurse, and I crank my head to look at her.
"We'll talk about your options once we get back to your room." She pats me on the shoulder, and I give her a nod.
"I don't even have a name for him yet." I look back at him, feeling like I'm already half failing because I don't know what I want to call my baby.
We stop at the elevator, and Rose pushes the button to go down. "Hmm. How about Ezra?"