Lord of Rain (The Dragon Demigods #5) - Charlene Hartnady Page 0,106
face. “Don’t give up on us, Ash.” His voice is choked.
“There is no us, Bolt. There never was.” Dammit! I’m crying like a baby. Hot tears are rolling down my cheeks, and I can’t seem to stop them.
“There is an us. We’re good together.”
“No! It’s a lie. We’re a lie. I know you think you have feelings for me. That you’re in love with me. I know you think you’re attracted to me, but you’re not. It’s all her. One day…maybe even one day soon, the venom will leave your system, and you’ll realize it. I’m going to hurt. I’m going to feel like my world has collapsed for a while, but I’ll pick myself up. I can come back from this.” I’m not sure it’s true, but I say it anyway. “But next week, next month, next year… What if we’re married with kids, and you look at me one day and realize the lie you’ve been living? I can’t do that to either one of us.”
“Ash…that won’t happen.” His voice is gruff.
“You can’t say for sure.” I sniff and wipe my face. I wish I would stop crying already.
Again, he just looks at me with his beautiful gray eyes. Eyes that draw me in. Eyes that even now are telling me I am wanted, needed, they’re telling me I’m loved, but I can’t believe them anymore. I can’t believe him.
“Most of all, if I stay, I will always ask myself if it’s really me you see, or if it’s her. I won’t live in someone else’s shadow. I can’t!”
“Please, don’t do this.” He sounds desperate.
I still want to cave in so badly. I can’t! I won’t! I walk to the door and open it. “I need you to leave.”
“Ash…” he begs, “please don’t!”
“Go!” I tell him. “Please just go.”
Thankfully he does as I ask, and he leaves. I crumple to the ground. I am broken.
32
Five days later…
Bolt
I knock again, harder this time.
“Quiet!” Night whisper-shouts when he opens the door. “Harley is sleeping.”
“Shit! Sorry! How much do babies sleep?”
“A lot…but somehow not enough.” He looks confused for a moment. “Come in. You look like a drowned rat.” He laughs – quietly.
I grumble, closing my umbrella, which I leave in the hallway. I softly stomp my shoes on the mat.
“You need to stop this,” Night says.
“Stop what?” I frown.
“That.” He points outside at the enormous clouds and the streaking lightning. “There are flood warnings being issued in parts of town.”
“I don’t have too much control.” I pull in a breath. “I do have a plan on how to get Ashley back. The sun will come out again – and today, if I can help it.”
“Oh?” His brows go up. “Let’s go sit.” He leads me to the living room. “Beer?” he offers.
I shake my head. “I need to keep my mind clear.”
“Um…we metabolize alcohol too quickly for it to affect us.”
“Still…” I don’t want to drink or eat or sleep until I have my girl back in my arms.
“Tell me about this idea of yours.” Night sits, and I follow suit.
“I’ve been wracking my brain on how to convince Ashley that I love her. That my feelings have nothing to do with the harpy.”
Night is looking at me intently. “But you haven’t been able to, because you aren’t sure.”
I look down at my lap. It’s true. I’m ashamed to say that I’m not sure. I wanted to lie. I wanted to at least stretch the truth. I couldn’t do that to her. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure. Ninety-fucking-nine, Night. Why should our relationship end over one little percent? Don’t answer that, because it doesn’t matter. If Ash needs one hundred percent, I’m going to give it to her. It came to me last night…technically in the early hours of the morning. Your brother is my answer.”
He frowns. “My brother? As in Death? How is Death going to help you?” Night asks, he scratches his head.
“I want him to take me to the Underworld to see the harpy. He said she was there.”
He snorts. “You can’t go into the Underworld. You won’t make it back out.”
“I will. Our fathers are brothers. We’re related. I’m powerful. My father is fucking Zeus.”
“Still…” Night rubs his chin. “You might not make it out. You’re a demigod. It’s a huge risk.” He shakes his head, his eyes clouded in thought.
“One I’m willing to take. I called Death, and he won’t hear of it. Now he’s ignoring my messages.”