to her as she moaned in a strange mixture of pain and pleasure that seemed to transport her. He caressed her afterward, and looked down at her, there were tears in her eyes, but they were for the new life they shared, the sorrows they had left behind, the tie that would hold them together now for the rest of their lives. She knew that she could never leave him now, nor he her. They had come far for this, and he kissed her lips and her hair and her eyes, and then just lay there with her and held her tight. And when finally he could bear to be parted from her, he looked at her, in awe of the beauty that had been hidden so carefully in the ugly habit.
“You're so beautiful…” He had never dreamt it would be anything like that, and he wanted her again, but he was afraid to hurt her. But as he kissed her passionately once more, she wanted him too, and it was different for her this time. They lay wrapped in ecstasy, lost in each other's gifts for what seemed like an eternity, and then afterward, he took her into the bathroom with him, and they took a shower. She was surprised at how easy they were with each other despite their lack of experience, and their natural shyness. She stood in the shower with him, the water running down on them, washing them clean, as they kissed again, and she smiled. It was obvious to both of them what they had to do now, what they would do after this. The die had been cast. And they no longer had any doubts about the future.
They changed the bed together, and put the sheets and towels through the washing machine, and then they walked back into the living room to wait for them to dry and sat on the couch again, discussing what they were going to do about their lives now.
“We can't do this forever, sweetheart,” he said practically, and they both knew that afternoon had changed their lives forever. She couldn't even imagine what she'd say to Mother Gregoria eventually. She couldn't begin to think about that now. All she could think about was him, and what they'd done that afternoon. She knew that she was his now for the rest of her life, whatever their future brought them.
It would be hard to be satisfied with a walk in the park, or a quick kiss in the confessional, after all they had shared here.
“We can do whatever we have to, for a while,”Gabriella said, worried about him. He had so much on his mind.
“Could you live in abject poverty?” he asked, looking worried. He knew she never had before, and it troubled him. She had lived without luxuries in her convent days, but all her needs had been met, and she had total security. If he married her, he knew they might have to starve for a while, or close to it.
“I can work too, you know.” She had a college degree, she could teach, or work for a magazine. She could always try to write and sell her stories. She had no idea how much money she'd make at it, but Mother Gregoria and the other nuns had always wanted her to try and sell them.
“I can get a job teaching school,” he said nervously. St. Stephen's paid him a salary, but if he left the church, none of the skills he needed there would be of any use to him outside. He had never before had to worry about making a living.
“You can do a lot of things,” she said reassuringly, “if that's what you want.” She didn't want him to feel he'd been pushed out of the priesthood. He had to walk out because he wanted to, otherwise he might hate her for the rest of his life, particularly if their road got rocky. And she knew it would for a time. It was a huge adjustment.
“You know I want to be with you more than anything in the world,” he said, kissing her again, transported again by the emotions of the past two hours. He was glad now that there had never been anyone else. He had never realized how much it would mean to him to have saved himself for her. And what they lacked in experience, they made up for amply in passion.
“I'd better go back,” she said with regret finally. It was