for you to understand why I have always kept you at arm’s length, and it feels good to finally tell someone.” She inhaled a deep breath and trained her eyes on the sand as she said, “When I was fourteen, my mother brought a guy home after work. Serena was spending the night at Mira’s, and I was sitting on the couch watching television and scrapbooking. My mother went upstairs to change because they were going out, and he tried to make small talk about how old I was and what kinds of things I liked to do. But I knew better than to engage with her men, and I just focused on my project. He sat beside me on the couch, pretending to be interested in what I was making. But I had learned to recognize the look of a guy who thought he could get away with anything, and he had that look in his eyes. I tried to get up and leave the room, but he yanked me back down and shoved his hand between my legs.”
Justin clenched his jaw tighter to keep his anger from roaring out.
Chloe looked out at the water and said, “I punched that guy harder than I’d ever hit anyone in my life, and it gave me just enough time to get to my feet. But he was right behind me, and he grabbed me.” She pressed her hand to her chest and said, “Sorry, my heart is racing.”
Justin kept her side against his chest and kissed her temple. “I’ve got you, Chloe. You’re safe with me. You’ve always been safe with me.”
She put her hands over his arm, which was belted around her stomach, and held on tight as she said, “I remember the way my stomach clenched, and for a split second I thought I was going to freeze again, like I had when the guy trapped me in the kitchen, but I didn’t. I stomped on his foot and elbowed him in the gut. But I was a scrawny fourteen-year-old, and he was a big man. My mother came downstairs as I was struggling to get free, and he started laughing. I’ll never forget that sinister sound. He let me go and I went ballistic, yelling at him, telling my mother what he’d done, begging her to call the police. But he told her he was just tickling me, and even though I was screaming and crying, telling her he was lying, it was like she never even heard me. He said they had to leave or they’d be late, and they took off as if it had never happened. On his way out the door, he looked over his shoulder and winked. I tore a lamp right out of the wall and threw it at him. But they were already gone by the time it crashed to the floor.”
“I’d like to tear that arrogant fucker to shreds. Do you know who he is?”
“No, but it doesn’t matter. Hurting him now wouldn’t change what happened then.”
He ground out a curse. “Did you ever talk to your mother about it again?”
“Yes, but like the other times, she just said something about me wanting attention, and she said it didn’t matter because she wasn’t seeing him anymore—”
“Times, Chloe? There were more?”
She nodded. “I don’t want to talk about them. They all pretty much went the same way. Some creep would try to touch me, I’d fight back, and my mother would play it off like no big deal. But that time on the couch was the last time. After that I didn’t take any chances. I locked myself and Serena in a room when they were there. But here’s the kicker. Not much has changed. My mother still chooses men over us. She did it just last weekend when she asked us to come down and meet one of her boyfriends. Actually, one thing has changed. I’m done meeting the men in her life. I always thought I owed it to her for being our mother, but not anymore.”
“We don’t owe our parents anything for creating us. That was their choice.”
“I know, and this is pathetic to admit, but while I’ve made the decision not to go through that again, I know that when the time comes, it’ll be hard to silence that hopeful little girl in me that always wonders if maybe this time it’ll be different.”
“Aw, babe,” he said softly. He knew all about trying to silence that hopeful