I know for sure is that we lived in the house where my mother still lives by the time I was in kindergarten, because I remember coming off the bus and walking home. I can’t even tell you who babysat us back then. It seems like there was a new babysitter every other week, at least until I was eight, when our mother started leaving us alone.”
He knew all about being left alone, and it slayed him that she’d gone through that. “Did your mother bring men home with her?” he asked carefully, hoping to hell the answer was no.
“Yes, and we were always supposed to be on our best behavior.” Her voice rose an octave and she said, “Have to impress so-and-so. He could be the one.” In her normal voice, she said, “And they were always bikers or construction workers with wandering eyes, and…” Her face clouded with uneasiness.
He held her tighter, sickened by the thought of anyone hurting her. “Did they ever touch you and Serena?”
“Not Serena,” she said firmly. “I’d have given my life before allowing that to happen.”
His protective urges surged, and he gritted his teeth. “Christ, Chloe. What happened?”
She scoffed. “Which time?”
He closed his eyes, teeth clenched, heart hammering against his ribs, and tried to rein in the rage burning through him. But she didn’t need to see that rage, so he forced his eyes open and spoke as calmly as he could, which wasn’t very calmly at all. “Fucking hell. No wonder you’re afraid to date tough guys.”
“Once you’ve been cornered in a kitchen, on a couch, or you wake up to a stranger’s hands on you, it changes your perspective on things.”
“Holy fuck, baby.” He wanted to track down the fuckers who had touched her and rip them to shreds. He rested his forehead on the side of her head, telling himself that the anger he felt was nothing compared to whatever she’d gone through. “How old were you? What did you do?”
“I was about twelve when I was cornered. And let me tell you something—at that age, when a full-grown man is looming over you, it doesn’t matter if you know to kick him in the nuts or to scream. At least for me it didn’t, because I knew to do both of those things, but my mind went completely blank with fear. Thankfully, my mother came into the room, which enabled me to get away before he did more than paw at me and say crude things. But I made the mistake of running behind her, thinking she might actually protect me. I was crying, and I told her that he was saying things he shouldn’t and that he’d trapped me against the counter and touched me. But it was my word against his, and he said he was just talking to me and that I was acting out because I wanted my mother’s attention.”
“That motherfucker,” he ground out through gritted teeth. “What did your mother do?”
“She kind of laughed it off, so I grabbed Serena and locked us in my room.” Chloe shifted in his arms. “Justin, you’re holding me a little too tight.”
“Sorry.” He loosened his grip, but his muscles were corded tight, ready for a fight. “I want to kill that guy, and I’m sorry, babe, but I’d like to give your mother a piece of my mind, too.”
“Well, get in line. I had always known that she didn’t take care of us, but I never imagined she wouldn’t protect us. The silver lining on that dark cloud was that I learned from it. From that day on, I made it my mission to never be caught like a deer in the headlights again, or to need someone else to save me.”
And there it was, the history behind her independent streak.
“I watched self-defense videos and learned how to become more aware of my surroundings,” Chloe said. “I got tougher, and I’m positive that’s what kept me out of many bad situations, but not all of them.” She looked at him, her face pinched with bad memories, and said, “I haven’t told Serena or anyone else about any of this, and I don’t want her to know because she’ll just feel guilty for not being able to help me. I need to know you won’t say anything. Okay?”
“I’d never say a word. You don’t have to tell me anything more, but it might help to get it off your chest.”