to me. It feels shameful knowing that he really was here last night, watching Jeff and me. And I know that everything he’s saying is factually true, he just has no idea the role I’ve played in my own misfortune. I did this! I allowed my life to spin out of control and get to this fucked up point, and I have no one to blame but Sara. I’m the asshole, the bastard, and the lowlife ruining perfectly good lives, not Jeff!
“Is it the money?” he asks, momentarily shocking me with his question.
“Really, Liam? Did you just ask me if my relationship with Jeffery is about the money? Does it always come down to money in your privileged world?” What an arrogant piece of shit this British fucker really is!
“Well, why else would you be made to feel this way and carry on? Why would you let some stag leave you in the middle of the night with tears dried on your cheeks?”
“It’s none of your business, that’s why. Get the fuck out of my life. I don’t owe you an explanation. Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong,” I bark at him.
He gets up from his perch at the foot of the bed and comes over to me, towering over while I’m still half-lying in bed. “Well that’s bleeding rich coming from you. I didn’t ask to be here watching you fuck that tosser. Don’t go forgetting who summoned whom here pretending to be Emily, sticking her nose in my business…so imitating a self-righteous bitch won’t do you any good, sweetheart.”
Up until now, he seemed nice, I could even pretend to understand what Emily saw in him and how he lured her into his bed. But seeing the way he’s frothing at the mouth and trying to intimidate me shows me his true ugly British colors. He’s come here to hurt Louis, and Emily is just part of his game. Not if I have anything to do with it, asshole.
“Stop trying to psychoanalyze me, Sara. I say what I feel, no disrespect. I’m bloody clueless as to why you and Emily and my sister would want or need men like that in your lives. It’s driving me bonkers and I don’t have any answers. I’m hoping that you’ll tell me it has to do with money. Money I know, money I can understand. But if you’re not with that knobhead because of his loot, and seeing your current state and knowing it’s because of him…I’m lost. Sara, make me understand.” He sits down on the bed by my side, looking at his hands.
“Liam, you and everybody else have no idea what being me feels like. You wouldn’t understand and I couldn’t explain it to you if I tried. This is my life and nobody but Jeff and I can understand our choices.” He looks away from his hands and back into my eyes.
“Make me understand. I don’t know anything about you besides that you and Emily are best mates and you’re a lawyer. You have sad eyes and I’ve just decided that I want to know why and who’s responsible. I don’t think you’ll get a better deal today than a stranger wanting to hear your story. What are you frightened of? There is no way I could cause you more pain than him. I have nowhere to go, no one is waiting for me or looking for me. I’m all yours, Sara. Let’s talk and try to work your problems out. I won’t hurt you…I promise.”
He hasn’t looked away from me and I don’t want him to. His eyes are clear, baring his own loneliness and desperation. I’d like to have eyes like that look at me without the pity and judgment. I wish I had someone besides Jeff who’d understand my choices and my mistakes. “Liam, do you really need for me to tell you about my fucked-up life? You’re just trying to get on my good side so I can help you find your way to Emily.” There, I said it. I’m not playing games with him; he has no reason to care about me or who Jeff is to me. His only motives are to gain my trust and access to Emily and somehow discredit Louis in the process.
He gets up from his seat and kneels on the floor beside the bed, quietly observing me. He reaches out his hand to fix a lock of hair that fell into my eyes and places it