certificate—” I had to bite my lip a little, because those words conjured up so much want inside me. “—we laughed it off. He teased me about becoming Parrish Church, and I said that was a ridiculous name, so he’d have to become Diesel Partridge, and it was fine, I thought. Back to the status quo. But then he found that adoption form, and he went all silent. It’s a bad habit of his.”
She snorted, but when I looked at her, she waved me off. “Finish your story, honey.”
“That’s mostly it. I told him I’d do anything for him and Marigold, and Diesel decided the best thing I could do for him would be to not be with him at all. He wanted me to give him space.” I made air quotes. “Said it wasn’t my fault, or whatever, he just needed to be alone with Marigold. ’Cause he’s scared. So I told him I understood. What else could I do?”
“But you didn’t understand.”
“Oh, no, I did,” I assured her. “I understand very well. Once he saw my name on that adoption form, it probably all got pretty real to him. Parrish Partridge is the best possible name to have on your paperwork, ’cause I’m such an upstanding citizen, and I’m pleasant enough to spend time with in the short term, but to actually be legally tied to me?” I shook my head, and my stomach went cold. “Can you see a guy like Diesel Church introducing me as his husband? Nah. We’ve had fun, and I’m glad I could help him out, but I’m never gonna be the kind of guy a fascinating man like Diesel falls in love with. It’s time I get that through my skull.” I forced myself to smile just a little. “Too bad, though, since it turns out I’m the kind of man who fell in love with him real easily.”
“Oh, Parrish. Honey—” Miss Sara reached out one gloved hand to pat my knee and shook her head.
“You know, the worst part is, I can’t even be mad at him like I was with Payne? Diesel never lied to me. Not even once. He’s been totally honest the whole time, Miss Sara,” I said solemnly.
Shockingly, she laughed—first a little snort, then a deep chuckle that forced her to set down her gardening tool and press a hand to her stomach.
I tried not to be too offended by this.
“Oh, God. Oh, laws. Oh, mercy. Parrish,” she sniffed. “I don’t think the two of you have said a single honest word to yourselves or each other since this whole thing started. You’re the lying-est pair of liars who ever lied.”
“W-what?”
Miss Sara grabbed me by the shoulders. “Listen to me closely now. Diesel Church is not Payne Whatshisname. And you’re not the same person you used to be either. You fell for Diesel because his feelings for you are genuine and always have been. He just hasn’t told you that, the same way you haven’t told him you have feelings for him. And the same way,” she added in a disapproving tone, “that you haven’t told him about Payne and the boys.”
I blinked at her. “How’d you know I haven’t told him?”
“Because if you had, he’d never have left you here to stew while he went off to clear his head.”
Poor, deluded Miss Sara. Her advice was usually so spot-on, but I supposed everyone had an off day now and then.
“He asked for space,” I reminded her. “From me.”
“I know, honey. Because he’s scared.”
“I know he’s scared! Heck, so am I, but you don’t ask for space from someone you care about.”
“Sure you do, if you’re Diesel. Think about it. Diesel’s parents died. His sister’s passed. The man who left him the junkyard—”
“Stix Yancey,” I supplied, frowning.
“Yes. He’s gone too. And I’m guessing Diesel’s dated once or twice, here or there, over the years?”
I shrugged. “I’d imagine so.”
“And where are those guys, Parrish? How many of them stuck around?”
“Well, but—”
“And his friends? How many close friends are looking out for Diesel’s best interests?”
“He’s got Ava! And Paul. And Mal and Brooks.”
“Sure, now. But that’s only the last few months or so. You know I love the Thicket with my whole heart, but it’s tough to find your place here when you weren’t a Fighting Bovine in a letterman jacket like Brooks, or a talented artist like Mal, or a sweet, harmless boy like Paul, or a golden girl like Ava. Hard to find your place anywhere when