you will, but I’ve never said that to another woman.”
“Not even your wife?” Before the words were out, she wished she could call them back.
He took a deep breath. Eleanor was his wife, and he would not speak ill of her, but neither could he lie to this woman with whom he had found something he hadn’t known existed. “No,” he said simply.
Mairi slid out from beneath him and rested her head on her elbow. “How long do we have?”
He thought of the message sent with Thomas and the days already past. Again he refused to lie. “Only tonight.”
There were no recriminations in Mairi’s eyes, only a quiet acceptance. She nodded. “Shall we make the most of it then?”
***
Edward I of England rode out of the gates of Traquair House the following morning a humbled man. For the first time in his life, he understood the meaning of courage. He had known many men and seen many battles during his reign, but courage, he now knew, was not to be found in the midst of war. Courage was not the death-defying charges of men in full mail, their horses foaming at the mouth, their swords dripping with the blood of their enemies. Courage was the dry eyes and straight back of a gray-eyed girl who had given a stranger all that was hers to give only to watch him ride away forever. He would never seek out Mairi of Shiels again. The cost was too great for the both of them.
Twenty-Six
TRAQUAIR HOUSE
1993
It was nearly midnight. Morning was hours away, but I needed food desperately. I managed the darkened stairs and pushed open the door of the kitchen, confident that I would be alone. The brilliantly lit room startled me. After the darkness of the hall, it took several stunned seconds for my eyes to adjust to the brightness. I didn’t actually see Kate replacing the circle of keys on their nail, but from her position in the room and the fleeting expression of guilt on her face, I was sure that she had recently done just that. Her presence unnerved me. I hadn’t expected her. There had been no time to rehearse the carefully chosen words I wanted her to remember when I fired her.
“Good evening, Miss Murray,” she said. “I had no idea you would be home tonight. Your mother told me not to expect you.”
Without speaking, I brushed past her and opened the refrigerator. The remains of a roast beef, bread, and two large hunks of cheese would do. Kate watched me as I sliced the meat and bread. I didn’t bother with a plate or silverware but stuffed several pieces into my mouth, chewed, and swallowed quickly. Pouring myself a large glass of juice, I sliced two pieces of cheese. Again, using the palm of my hand as a plate, I carried the food over to the fire that perpetually burned in the kitchen hearth and sat down in a chair.
“Would you like me to make you some tea, Miss Murray?”
Rage consumed me. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I can’t believe that Ian hasn’t told you.”
“Told me what?”
I studied her face carefully. There was nothing in her expression to indicate that she lied. It disconcerted me. Why hadn’t Ian warned her that I knew everything? It occurred to me that I had a tremendous advantage if the two of them had not yet compared stories. I decided to begin again. “I know who you are, Kate, and it won’t do you any good at all. If you had approached me fairly when I first came, things might have been different. As it is, you’re fired. I want you out of here first thing in the morning.”
Her face looked pale, but her eyes were hot and black with hate. “We have labor laws in Scotland. It won’t be easy to dismiss me.”
“You may do as you please, Mrs. Ferguson. But unless you have a very good excuse for drugging me, I wouldn’t take this any farther than it’s already gone.”
“Are you threatening me?” Her voice died to a whisper.
“Not at all. I would rather put this whole thing behind us.”
She didn’t argue. Lifting her head, she threw me one last scathing glance and left the room.
I ate several more slices of meat and washed it down with another glass of juice before climbing the stairs to my room. I felt incredibly satisfied, almost light-headed. Kate’s shadowy presence and thinly veiled disapproval would no longer haunt me.