“Do you want me to take it? So you can be in it, too?”
I said it automatically, impulsively, forgetting that I didn’t want to be there, forgetting that my hands were full of first aid supplies and a wet towel. It was almost like this casual, cool part of my brain spoke before the real me could take over, and for a moment I was stunned by my own voice.
And then the others reacted. I could tell instantly that I had said the wrong thing: The girls who were lined up for the photo shifted uncomfortably, and the girl taking their picture smiled like she was trying to recover from being stung.
“No, that’s okay,” she said in an overly bright way, “but thank you.”
She turned back to take the picture. I waited for them to finish, knowing my face and neck were red and blotchy. This was why I didn’t go to parties or talk to anyone other than Maritza and JaKory: because I didn’t know what to say, or do, or even how to be around other people my age.
“Have at it,” the girl said, handing her phone off to the other girls, and then she turned and looked at me.
“Thanks for waiting,” she said. “They’ve been asking me to take that picture for like ten minutes.”
It was hard to look straight at her. She had beautiful sea-green eyes and a warm smile I didn’t feel I had earned.
“I’m sorry if I said something awkward,” I blurted out.
She shook her head. “You didn’t. It’s just…” She checked behind her and lowered her voice. “They’re all going to UGA next year, so they wanted a pic together, and I … um … didn’t get in.”
I blinked at her, unsure of what to say. She smiled a small, close-lipped smile that told me she was devastated but trying to keep perspective on the whole thing, and I couldn’t believe she was trusting me, a person she didn’t know, with this thing that was obviously paining her.
“That was shitty of them to make you take it, then,” I said.
She broke into a looser, more genuine smile. “Yeah, it was, right? I’m not even that close of friends with them.” She looked intently at me, and her eyes took in my face in a way I wasn’t expecting. “I know you from school, right?”
A warm wave spread across my chest. Ricky hadn’t known me, and no one at this party had looked twice at me, but here was a girl with a pretty smile who recognized me and knew I belonged.
“Yeah,” I said, “I’m a junior—”
Before I could go on, two people swooped in behind the girl and started tugging her away, laughing and shouting. One of them was a short, happy girl with red hair, and the other was a big, beefy guy with a buzz cut and twinkling eyes. They were clearly two of her good friends.
“Come on!” the redhead shouted. “Leo and Samuel are shotgunning!”
The girl I’d been talking to was laughing, even as she tried to resist their pulling. “Hold on, guys, I’m trying to talk to—”
“We’ll bring her right back!” the guy with the buzz cut told me, spinning her away. “Hey, has anyone seen Ricky?!”
There was a commotion in the foyer as everyone started heading for the kitchen, and suddenly I was the only person left standing there. For a moment, I forgot where I was—forgot, until I looked down to the antibiotics in my hand, that I had ventured into this crazy party to grab first aid for Ricky. I turned away from the raucous sea of people swelling toward the kitchen, and a moment later I was back outside, breathing clear air, letting my nerves settle in the silence.
Ricky was still at the base of the driveway, waiting for me. “Everything all right?” he asked. “It sounded really loud in there just now.”
“People are shotgunning?” I said. “Whatever that means.”
“Are you serious? Damn it, I told them shotgunning was off-limits.”
“They were looking for you, I heard some guy asking if anyone had seen you. Here,”—I handed over his supplies—“let me give you some light.”
I shone my phone flashlight as he cleaned his hand, and while I watched him, the heady adrenaline rush I’d felt inside the house seemed to cool and wash away. I felt odd, but it was a good kind of odd—like I’d surprised myself in the best way.
“Thanks,” Ricky said, crumpling up the bandage wrapper. “I owe you one. Do you wanna