worse still: "The dragon is dead! The dragon is dead!'
Lissa almost tried again to make her speech, but then something made her look behind her. There, the twelve family seals hung on the wall. A man had appeared out of nowhere and was taking down the Dragomir's crest, with its dragon and Romanian inscription. Lissa's heart sank as the shouts in the room became louder and her humiliation grew. She rose, wanting to run out of there and hide from the disgrace. Instead, her feet took her to the wall with its seals. With more strength than she thought herself capable of possessing, she jerked the dragon seal away from the man. "No!' she yelled. She turned her gaze to the audience and held up the seal, challenging any of them to come take it from her or deny her her rightful place on the Council. "This. Is. Mine. Do you hear me? This is mine!'
She would never know if they heard because they disappeared, just like the graveyard. Silence fell. She now sat in one of the medical examining rooms back at St. Vladimir's. The familiar details were oddly comforting: the sink with its orange hand soap, the neatly labeled cupboards and drawers, and even the informative health posters on the walls. STUDENTS: PRACTICE SAFE SEX!
Equally welcome was the school's resident physician: Dr. Olendzki. The doctor wasn't alone. Standing around Lissa--who sat on top of an examination bed--were a therapist named Deirdre and ... me. Seeing myself there was pretty wacky, but after the funeral, I was just starting to roll with all of this.
A surprising mix of feelings raced through Lissa, feelings out of her control. Happiness to see us. Despair at life. Confusion. Suspicion. She couldn't seem to get a hold of one emotion or thought. It was a very different feeling from the Council, when she just hadn't been able to explain herself. Her mind had been orderly--she'd just lost track of her point. Here, there was nothing to keep track of. She was a mental mess.
"Do you understand?' asked Dr. Olendzki. Lissa suspected the doctor had already asked this question. "It's beyond what we can control. Medication no longer works.'
"Believe me, we don't want you hurting yourself. But now that others are at risk ... well, you understand why we have to take action.' This was Deirdre. I'd always thought of her as smug, particularly since her therapeutic method involved answering questions with questions. There was no sly humor now. Deirdre was deadly earnest.
None of their words made sense to Lissa, but the hurting yourself part triggered something in her. She looked down at her arms. They were bare ... and marred with cuts. The cuts she used to make when the pressure of spirit grew too great. They'd been her only outlet, a horrible type of release. Studying them now, Lissa saw the cuts were bigger and deeper than before. The kinds of cuts that danced with suicide. She looked back up.
"Who ... who did I hurt?'
"You don't remember?' asked Dr. Olendzki.
Lissa shook her head, looking desperately from face to face, seeking answers. Her gaze fell on me, and my face was as dark and somber as Deirdre's. "It's okay, Liss,' I said. "It's all going to be okay.'
I wasn't surprised at that. Naturally, it was what I would say. I would always reassure Lissa. I would always take care of her.
"It's not important,' said Deirdre, voice soft and soothing. "What's important is no one else ever gets hurt. You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?'
Of course Lissa didn't, but her troubled mind shifted elsewhere. "Don't talk to me like a child!' The loudness of her voice filled the room.
"I didn't mean to,' said Deirdre, the paragon of patience. "We just want to help you. We want you to be safe.'
Paranoia rose to the forefront of Lissa's emotions. Nowhere was safe. She was certain about that ... but nothing else. Except maybe something about a dream. A dream, a dream ... "They'll be able to take care of you in Tarasov,' explained Dr. Olendzki. "They'll make sure you're comfortable.'
"Tarasov?' Lissa and I spoke in unison. This other Rose clenched her fists and glared. Again, a typical reaction for me.
"She is not going to that place,' growled Rose.
"Do you think we want to do this?' asked Deirdre. It was the first time I'd really seen her cool facade crumble. "We don't. But the spirit ... what it's doing ... we have no choice ...'
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