shot of unadulterated joy that I hadn’t had since…I couldn’t even remember when.
“You speak her language?”
“Sure do. I’m what they call her handler, but really, she’s mine.”
“You handle her?” He didn’t bother looking up at me, clearly having way too much fun checking out Havoc.
“Well, I used to. We’re both retiring, though.”
“So you’re a soldier?”
“Yeah. Well, I used to be.” I ran my hand down Havoc’s back out of habit.
“And what are you now?”
Such an innocent question with an impossibly heavy answer. I’d been a soldier for ten years. It had been my way out of foster care hell. I’d been the best soldier possible because failure wasn’t an option, not if it meant going back to the life I’d come from. I promised myself I’d never give them a reason to kick me out, and for ten years, I’d eaten and slept the Army, the unit. I’d earned my place.
“I don’t really know,” I answered truthfully.
“You should figure that out.” The kid threw me some serious side-eye. “Grown-ups are supposed to know those kinds of things.”
A chuckle rumbled through my chest. “Yeah, I’ll get to work on that.”
“My uncle was a soldier.”
My stomach hit the floor. What was the line here? How much were you supposed to tell a kid who wasn’t yours? What would Ella want him to know?
Luckily, I didn’t have to ponder long, because her SUV came tearing down the dirt drive next to my cabin. She threw on the brakes, and a dirt cloud puffed up around the tires. My heart lurched with anticipation. What the hell was I? Fifteen?
“Crap. She found me.”
“Hey,” I said softly.
He met my gaze, his nose and mouth all scrunched.
“Don’t swear.”
“Crap’s not a bad word,” he mumbled.
“Close enough. There’s always a better word to use, and I have a feeling your mom makes sure you’re educated enough to find them. Make her proud.”
His expression straightened, and he nodded solemnly.
“Besides, from the look on her face, you’re already in trouble,” I whispered.
“Colton Ryan MacKenzie!” Ella shouted as she strode toward us. “What on God’s green earth do you think you’re doing out here?”
I stood, and Havoc immediately backed to my side.
“Yeah,” Colt agreed, standing on the other side of Havoc. “Middle name means I get grounded,” he finished in a whisper.
Ella walked the rest of the path to the dock, fury emanating from her in waves. But on top of that fury was an ice-cold fear. I felt it as surely as if she’d brought a snowstorm with her. Her blond hair was loosely woven into a side braid that fell just over her vest, and those jeans…
I snapped my gaze back to hers, which was currently boring a hole into Colt.
“Well? What do you have to say for yourself? Taking your quad? Not telling anyone? Sitting here with a stranger? You scared me half to death!”
God, she was beautiful angry, which was about the only emotion I’d seen from her since I’d gotten here. Every time I’d bumped into her, she’d simply quirked up an eyebrow at me and said, “Mr. Gentry.” At least her anger was directed elsewhere at the moment.
“I have been background checked, security clearance and all,” I told her.
She shot me a glance that snapped my mouth shut and made me almost glad I’d never had a real mom. That look was the stuff of horror movies.
Colt’s eyes went impossibly wide, and he puckered his mouth to the side.
“Colt,” Ella warned, crossing her arms.
“He has a dog,” Colt said.
“And that gives you the right to not only intrude on a guest’s space but put yourself in danger? When I expressly told you not to bother Mr. Gentry?”
Ouch. Guess that explained why it had taken two weeks to meet Colt.
“He didn’t mind. He told me that she’s a job dog and she used to be a soldier. Just like him. You know, like Uncle Ryan.”
Ella’s face fell, a veil of sadness clouding her eyes. In that moment, I saw the weariness she’d written to me about. Sometimes it feels like the world is caving in, and I’m the only one in the center, my arms outstretched trying to brace it. And I’m just so tired, Chaos. I can’t help but wonder how long I can hold it before we’re all crushed under the weight. Letter number seventeen. I saw the woman who’d written the letters, who had captured me with nothing more than her words.
My fingers flexed with the need to pull her to me, to wrap