have to stop by to visit and catch up sometime when she’s not so busy.”
“Definitely.” Pleasantries. He didn’t mean them, and neither did I.
Footsteps echoed from the hall above, and I looked up on instinct, catching nothing but shadows at the top of the curved double staircase.
The main house was enormous and had expanded steadily with time; I used to think it was a castle. There were arched doorways, hidden window seats, closets within closets. A wooden rail along the cliffs out back made of raw lumber. Balconies looming dangerously close to the edge of the overlook, saltwater mist perpetually coating the railings. Faith had lived there, too, up on the top floor, a converted attic space where we all passed around a bottle for the first time in middle school.
For a second I remembered Connor as he was back then, how he could never seem to stand still. How he could disappear while you were turned away, only to walk in the door just when you noticed he was gone. This feeling that he was living an entire second life in the pause, while the rest of us were stuck in slow motion.
Mr. Sylva’s gaze followed mine to the staircase landing, and as the footsteps retreated, he leaned closer, lowering his voice. “The Donaldsons have already settled in. Seemed a bit shaken, to be honest. What happened up there, Avery?” He jutted his chin to the side, in the direction of the rentals on the overlook. They were within walking distance, though not plainly in sight.
“Don’t know,” I said, peering up at the empty, shadowed hall once more. “I’m off to take a look.”
* * *
THE DONALDSON FAMILY HAD been staying at the Blue Robin, the location of the last Plus-One party. This wasn’t the first time I’d been back since then, but I never lingered for long. I kept my walk-throughs brief and efficient between visitors. There was too much, otherwise, to remind me.
This wasn’t the scene of Sadie’s demise, so the police had left it well enough alone. But it would always be the place I’d been the last time I could imagine her alive. Where I was waiting for her final message, the last thing she wanted to tell me:
No one understands.
I’ll miss you.
Forgive me.
I would never know exactly what she had wanted to say. Though the police had tried to find her phone, the GPS had been deactivated for as long as I’d known her—a leftover suspicion from her teen years that her parents were tracking her, watching her every move. The phone had been offline when the police tried to reach it, most likely lost to the sea when she jumped.
There was a path that wove through the trees from the B&B to the overlook, passing right behind the Blue Robin. I could take my car just as easily, looping back down the drive to the next turnoff, but I didn’t want to alert anyone that I was coming; I didn’t want anyone to notice my car and ask what was going on.
I walked the same path I’d raced down nearly a year earlier, following Parker and Luce. Racing toward something we had no ability to stop. In hindsight, I knew that Parker shouldn’t have been driving. None of us should have. The night had blurred edges, as parties often did for me. Bits and pieces came back to me in surprising flashes during the questioning, morphing into a stilted time line of things I had said or done, seen or heard.
Standing on the front porch now, I could almost feel the people on the other side—the heat, the laughter—before everything had turned.
The Donaldsons had followed protocol, leaving the house key in an envelope inside the mail drop beside the front door. Not the most secure method, I knew, but it was all part of the act. Part of the story we told about this place. There were a lot of obvious dangers in Littleport, despite the claims we made to the contrary for the tourists. A safe place, we told them, and technically, if you looked at the crime statistics, that was true.
But there were other dangers. A car on a dark, winding road. A slick of ice on the sidewalk. The edge of the cliffs, the current, the rocks.
The mountains and the water; the cold in the winter; the complacency of the summer.
The near-misses that were never reported: the hikers who went missing (found two days later), the woman who fell into