and down slowly again, his touch heating her down to her blood and bones.
“You want to know everything?” His voice rumbled against her ear.
“Yes,” she said, feeling completely certain. “Absolutely everything. You left, and then what?”
“I bought a plane ticket,” he said, “and I flew to Texas, because I thought that was as good a place as any. I had experience with horses, and I was able to get a job on a ranch there. All of that led to a little bit of amateur rodeo work.”
“Where did the investments come in?”
“I started to earn a little extra pocket money on bets. I got a cut of the winnings when I kicked ass in events. So, I ended up with all this cash in savings. I talked to a guy who used to ride pro, who had made a bunch of money on endorsement deals. He was injured and he couldn’t compete anymore, but, he had figured out a way to keep his income rolling in. And I thought that I should look into it. So, I contacted the guy he recommended and everything kind of snowballed from there. I started out with my father’s money, it bought me the plane ticket, but after that... It was me on my own.”
“So all of the debt you’re dealing with now for the West family, that has nothing to do with your personal fortune.”
He laughed. “I don’t know that I would call it a personal fortune. But, I’m not going to end up out on the street anytime soon.”
“So, you started getting money. Why didn’t you settle down?”
His muscles went rigid beneath her touch. “I didn’t feel like I could. Every time I stayed in one place for too long I felt like a rock was sitting on my chest. Every time I got to know people, every time I lingered, it felt like... Well, kind of felt like a betrayal. It was one thing to walk around and take whatever work I could get, to never settle, and to convince myself that I couldn’t. Leaving my family for that... Well, that seemed okay. But if I were to settle somewhere else and really make it home then I guess it was real that I’d left them. That I left for good.”
“Then why didn’t you come back?”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that. And it wasn’t just because of you, though... I felt so much regret for that. And unable to do much of anything to fix it. But it was also my father. The more I chipped away at who he was, the less I could stand the idea of staying and becoming him. I already knew that he had an illegitimate kid. He told me about Jack Monaghan way before anybody else knew. I knew about him, and I didn’t do anything. I’m completely at fault for Jack being disenfranchised from the family, for the fact that he had such a difficult childhood. Because for the longest time I thought that if my father had a reason for doing something it was a good enough reason. Because he was Nathan West, how could he be wrong? But there were so many things. So many little things. All of the money that was being used for God knew what. The secrets that he kept from my mother. And your accident was the last straw.”
She froze, her hand still pressed tightly against his chest. “How?”
“He told me not to be an idiot. He told me to let him make it all go away. He wanted to pay you off, make sure that I didn’t get in any trouble. He wanted it to be kept a secret so that it wouldn’t impact the family. I’m not blameless. I obviously accepted the out. I’m not going to pretend for one second that I’m somehow blameless, or that I’m noble in any way. Because I let him do it. But I just couldn’t... I couldn’t be a part of that family anymore. I couldn’t live there, knowing that I was expected to be everything he was. It’s amazing to me, coming back and seeing Colton. He was raised by the same man, and he stayed. And he’s turned into a helluva guy.”
“Colton certainly hasn’t ever gotten in any trouble.”
“And I know he blames me for that, more than gives me credit. He’s angry that I left, and that I left him with all of that to carry. But they were better off with him. They were