Damn it. Savannah’s biscuits were like manna from Heaven. And for some immature reason, Dash didn’t want to share them with Bill.
Bill started talking about the building committee down at the church, and how Hettie was helping with their fund-raising efforts. The church was in desperate need of more Sunday School space, what with all the new folks moving into the area because of deBracy Ltd.
Bill was a relentless fund-raiser, and Dash had already contributed generously—because Hettie had asked him to. Dash begrudged the time Hettie spent with Bill. And if he were a smart or devious man, he would probably try to encourage this thing between Savannah and the preacher. Maybe if Bill was busy eating Savannah’s sweet buns, Hettie would have more free time. Maybe Dash could screw up his courage and ask Hettie to go out riding with him one afternoon.
He rolled this idea around in his head and decided that it wasn’t going to work. For one thing, he hated the idea of Bill and Savannah being together, even though they probably deserved each other. And for another, the idea of asking Hettie to go riding scared the bejesus out of him.
He chewed his roast and pushed these sour thoughts to the back of his mind. He looked up and turned his attention to Todd, who sat to his right. One glance at the kid told Dash that Todd wasn’t paying any attention to his dinner or the minister. When that boy ignored his mother’s pot roast with gravy and biscuits, it had to be a sign of trouble. The kid was looking down at something in his lap.
At first, Dash thought it might be the dog. But Champ had been left in the mudroom off the kitchen, seeing as the puppy was not quite housebroken.
It was probably the infernal PSP.
Dash speared a bite of potato. He ought to do something about Todd’s behavior, but heck, Bill was so boring Dash understood why the kid had tuned him out.
Just then the biggest, most sustained, practically melodic fart erupted from the kid’s general direction.
Everyone turned to look at Todd. The kid started giggling, tears in his eyes, his cheeks pink.
“What in the world?” Miriam said.
Another fart erupted. This one was high and tight enough to classify as a soprano fart.
“Todd Avery White, what do you have in your hands?” Savannah descended on her child like an avenging angel. She snatched away the iPhone the kid was playing with.
“Did you take this out of my purse?”
Todd shrugged.
She looked down at the phone, and her face got deliciously pink. It was kind of fetching. “What is this?”
“It’s a fart app,” the kid said, barely constraining his mirth.
Dash bit his cheek to keep from laughing out loud. He failed, and Savannah rounded on him. “You. You have a lot of nerve laughing at his bad behavior after what you said this morning. Honestly, this is just the kind of stupid and immature thing you used to do.” She turned toward Bill. “I’m sorry, Reverend. The two of them are incorrigible.”
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame,” the minister intoned. It was truly irritating the way Bill could come up with Bible verses on command.
Savannah turned and glared at the minister. Boy howdy, she was some kind of protective mother.
“I don’t agree with spanking,” she said in a quiet voice. She had told Dash much the same thing this morning. And she’d shamed him with her disapproval. She’d made him think.
And Dash had come to the conclusion that Uncle Earnest’s approach was way better than his grandfather’s approach had ever been.
Right now, she was giving the minister the same evil eye she’d given him this morning. It evened up the score a little bit.
“Contrary to the prevailing opinions at this table, I do believe in discipline,” she said in a strong, tough voice. She turned toward Todd. “You are excused from the table, young man. Go to your room and write a sincere apology to the minister. It had better be at least five hundred words.”
Dash had to give the kid credit. He didn’t argue with his momma. He didn’t complain. He simply got up and sauntered from the room. There was an unmistakable bounce in the kid’s stride. And he gave the minister the stink eye behind his back.
Good for Todd. Dash didn’t much like Bill either.
Savannah watched Todd leave and then turned toward Dash with another royal glower. Dash