part of my story, but it did happen.
He was in the foster system for six months.
This really hit me hard. I was in the foster system, I knew how terrible it was. Even though I was divorced from his dad, I was actively trying to help get him out of there. I wanted him to be with his mom or even with me. I even helped his mom to fly out, and I was driving her around.
When I think back about it, I was so fucking stupid with that. That whole situation drove me back toward my ex. It’s just my opinion, but I’m convinced he used that situation—that his son was in foster care, and the guilt he knew that would cause with me—to try to get me back with him. He knew I’d been in foster care, he knew I would not be able to resist helping his son, and that it would bring me back around him more.
And it worked.
I won’t get into more details. You would just start yelling at this page you’re reading, like some crazy person.
We got married. Again.
We got a bigger house, a better house. And the one good thing was that me and his son were super-close. His son knew what I had been through with foster care and all this stuff. He was lovin’ on me and everything.
And honestly, it was okay for a while. He wasn’t hitting me or none of that.
Then he started acting really weird. He started being on the phone for like two, three hours at a time, ducking off into his office. Running into the backyard to talk, being really secretive and stuff.
I tried to have positive thoughts. I’d go on the computer and look through our wedding photos, to remember the good times.
And then one time, I was going through the wedding photos, and there was a photo of a buck naked chick sucking on her titties, in the middle of our wedding photos. That led to a big fight. Nothing physical, just yelling.
I was working on a movie then, and I called him the next day, but couldn’t find him. I came home, because I had been a little mean to him in the morning. So I thought, I’ll come home during my lunch break. I’ll butter him up like, “I’m sorry for being mean to you this morning.” But, he was not at home when I arrived.
Instead, there was an eviction notice on our door.
Tiffany: “Why hasn’t the rent been paid? Why are we getting an eviction notice?”
Ex-Husband: “Because I have a child. I’ve been talking to her every day. I have to pay $2500 a month. They’re garnishing my check. That’s where the money is going.”
That’s why he was asking me for $1000 every month. He said it was going towards the rent. Turns out, he was paying child support. He had another child who was eleven, a little girl, who he basically abandoned, because he didn’t like her mom.
• • •
It’s funny, because a few months before, his mom was at the house, and she was telling me that he got a daughter. But she was drunk, and he was like, “You can’t listen to her. She drunk. Don’t listen to what she’s saying.” But, I should’ve listened.
I had real issues about this.
Tiffany: “Why would you do that? You found my dad for me. And you know how I feel about that. You would just abandon your child? You just let her be out there like that? And then you didn’t even tell me that you reconnected with her or that you was paying child support or that you got a court order garnishing your check? You didn’t tell me none of that?”
He didn’t have nothing to say. I was like:
Tiffany: “Fuck this shit. I’m done. I’m out.”
So, I moved out. I got a divorce.
And this time, it stuck. We’re still divorced, and we ain’t never getting back together.
I know what you’re thinking: This was your breaking point? And not the ass-whippings?
It seems like a really small thing, relatively. Compared to everything else.
But the thing is, I couldn’t be with anybody, or potentially have a child with somebody, who could abandon his child. That was my personal boundary, and I had finally found it.
He had trouble letting go. He kept texting, “I want my wife back.” He’d be calling my friends. To this day, he still calls my friends. And he’s like, “How’s my wife doing? I miss her. She’s still