was sad too.
“I’ll start on the paths. A hot breakfast would be appreciated once you get Kit fed.”
She slipped from his side. “If you fall asleep in a snowdrift, I will not wake you until spring.”
She was almost to the door before his voice stopped her. “There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to go, Sophie.”
She nodded and left, closing the door quietly. He was trying to be kind again, but this time it didn’t feel at all welcome.
***
Vim shoveled a path to the garden gate then shoveled one across the alley to the mews. That done, he decided a path from the house to the jakes at the bottom of the garden only made sense, and one from the gate to the jakes, as well.
And Sophie would appreciate having her back terrace shoveled off too, so he went about that, trying very carefully to keep his mind blank as he did.
Yes, he was procrastinating his leave-taking.
Yes, he felt guilty for leaving Sophie here to contend with the baby—and the possible consequences of having given shelter to a male stranger while unchaperoned. She might be a mere domestic—or she might be something else entirely—but her reputation would be precious to her in either event.
And yes, he felt an ache at the thought of never seeing her again, never seeing Kit discover the joy of independent locomotion, never hearing the boy chortle with baby-glee at capturing an adult nose in his tiny mitt.
But Vim also felt guilty for staying when he knew those who depended on him—those who had every right to depend on him—awaited him in Kent.
Something prickled along the back of his neck. He looked up to see Sophie standing on the back porch without so much as a shawl over her day dress, her expression puzzled.
He stopped shoveling and crossed the drifted garden to stand a few steps below her. “I didn’t think Higgins and Merriweather would get much done, as cold as it is and as old as they are.”
“You’ve shoveled half the garden out, Vim. Come in and eat something before you leave us.”
He let the shovel fall to the side and wrapped his arms around her waist. Because she was standing higher than he, this put his face right at the level of her breasts. Oblivious to appearances and common sense, he laid his head on her chest.
“You will catch your death, Sophie Windham.”
She wrapped her arms around him for one glorious moment, the scent of spices and flowers enveloping him as she did. She offered spring and sunshine with her embrace, and Vim felt an ache in his chest so painful he wondered if it was the pangs of inchoate tears.
“Come inside.” Sophie dropped her arms and took him by the hand. “You haven’t eaten yet today, and shoveling is hard work.”
She was patronizing him. He allowed it, unable to ask her the mundane questions that might put aside the reality of his impending departure.
Did Kit eat his breakfast?
Will you do more baking today?
Do you need more coal for your fireplace?
Is there anything I can do to delay this parting?
“Drink some tea,” Sophie said when she’d got him out of his outer clothes. “Kit demolished his breakfast, and I’ve already changed his nappy twice. I’ve wrapped up some food to take with you when you leave too, and I’m heating potatoes to stuff in your pockets.”
She remained quiet while he ate toasted bread, a large omelet, a substantial portion of bacon, two oranges she’d peeled for him, some fried potatoes, and a piece of buttered Christmas bread.
And despite all the piping hot tea he washed it down with, fatigue hit Vim like an avalanche when he got to his feet.
“You’re ready to go?” Sophie was kneading dough at the counter, kneading it with ferocious concentration. He watched her punch and fold the dough for a moment before her question registered.
“I’ll get my things from upstairs and be on my way.”
She said nothing, just nodded and kept pummeling the dough. Even watching her do that, he felt some of that ache near his sternum, so he dragged himself up the back steps.
Not two hours earlier, he’d awakened hard as a pikestaff, ready to make love to the first woman to share a bed with him in ages. More than ready—eager, throbbing, and held back only by the knowledge that today was the day he’d leave her.
But God, to have her looking at him like he was some holiday treat… He’d dealt with himself swiftly