come back to haunt either of them. A woman without all her secrets; secrets that could potentially ruin many lives. Secrets she could never reveal to anyone. Secrets she must take to her grave.
She firmly believed that a marriage, any marriage, should be based on a foundation of sincerity and honesty. Nay, Lachlan was a good man and he deserved both those things and more. And honesty, divulging long buried secrets, was not something she could give to him. Everything else, love, adoration, respect, aye, those things she could give. But if she were not completely honest, then all those things she could give him would be tainted.
She hadn’t been allowed to spend the remainder of her day awash in heartache. Less than an hour after Lachlan departed, one of the kitchen maids was knocking at her door.
“Aeschene has sent for ye,” the girl said.
Keevah took note of the young woman’s profoundly red cheeks. See? This is all the proof ye need to ken ye’ve made the right decision. If a kitchen maid cannae speak to ye without shame or embarrassment, then how could ye possibly expect to be a laird’s wife? Nay, ye’d bring naught more than overwhelming embarrassment to yer husband.
Keevah told the brown-haired lass that she would be along directly. The poor girl scurried away, fearful, Keevah assumed, that if she tarried too long at her door, her tainted reputation might somehow rub off on her.
After washing her face, she grabbed her cloak, painted on a look of indifference, and headed out to see what Aeschene needed. All the while, with her heart breaking with each beat, she pretended that all was right in her world.
Keevah’s feigned indifference evaporated the moment she saw Aeschene. Her friend was in the gathering room, sitting next to the fire, a soft blanket draped across her knees. There were two things that brought forth her tears. Seeing the look of sheer contentment on Aeschene’s face, and her burgeoning belly. In three months, Aeschene would be holding her first bairn in her arms, nursing him or her at her breast.
Contentment, motherhood, and knowing that above stairs a man who loved Aeschene more than his own life were symbols of all the things Keevah would never have.
Until Lachlan’s proposal that morning, Keevah had resigned herself to knowing she’d never experience any of those beautiful moments in life. For years, she’d convinced herself she was happy and content.
But her heart, her shattering heart, finally spoke the truth and it was all too much. She ran to Aeschene and collapsed at her feet.
“Keevah? Is that ye?” Aeschene asked as she reached out to pat her head. The poor woman was very nearly completely blind. Keevah hadn’t announced herself when she ran to her.
She nodded her head and sobbed an ‘aye’.
“What on earth is the matter?” Aeschene asked, her voice tinged with a blend of confusion as well as concern.
Through tears and occasional sobs, Keevah described her earlier interaction with Lachlan, and his proposal.
“Och! Why would ye be cryin’, Keevah? That is wonderful news.”
“Nay,” Keevah said, choking on a sob. “I cannae marry him.”
“Do ye nae love him?”
“’Tis the God’s truth I do,” she said as she wiped her tears away with her fingertips. “More than anything, I love him.”
“Then why can ye nae marry him?”
Had the woman forgotten everything she knew about Keevah?
“Ye ken why, Aeschene. Lachlan deserves much more than an auld whore as his wife.”
Aeschene dismissed her argument in its entirety. “Bah! If Lachlan does nae care then why should ye?”
Keevah swallowed hard before answering. “Because what if some day we come across a man from my past? I dunnae want to be married to someone who might constantly be thinkin’ did my wife warm his bed?”
“I doubt very seriously that Lachlan would ever think such a thing.”
“But he might. And do ye nae think the Chisolms would nae be as forgivin’ as ye?” She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. “Nay, Aeschene, I dunnae want to bring any shame to Lachlan. And I dunnae want him to constantly be defendin’ my honor.”
Aeschene reached out and placed a warm palm on Keevah’s cheek. “I think ’twould only take him needin’ to do that once and the need would never arise again.”
While she appreciated Aeschene’s positivity and loyalty, she thought both were ill conceived and ill placed. She simply couldn’t understand for she hadn’t lived the kind of life Keevah had.
“Come now, and dry yer tears,” Aeschene said as she withdrew a